7 Things I Wish I Knew About Dating In My 20s

16. sep.. 2019
496 986 Ganger

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There’s no rule book for how to have an incredible relationship. And that means that a lot of us (myself included) make tons of mistakes.
I’m turning 32 on October 5th. And as I look back on the last decade or so, I realize that I’ve done some things wrong. Which is why in this video I want to share with you 7 things I wish I knew in my 20s.

0:31 - #1: People change because of internal motivation.
2:01 - #2: Chemistry is a phase.
2:24 - #3: People who are fundamentally friends have the strongest relationships.
3:49 - #4: Duration is a bad measure of quality.
4:47 - #5: Conversation shouldn't have to change when he/she enters the room.
6:01 - #6: Never give up your friendships because of a relationship.
7:24 - #7: You need to show your work emotionally.
#Dating #CharismaOnCommand

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  • Bro! Your content!!! Super wise and down to earth and applicable!!... And then... Your donation... Super fan of you! I honestly hope we can collaborate in the close enough future. Best to you!

    Loto VazquezLoto Vazquez6 dager siden
  • I’ll

    Ral OnyekaRal Onyeka14 dager siden
  • Ah we got a Libra Man talking.. I do like listening to your video's

    Brian HilstBrian Hilst16 dager siden
  • Oh hey happy belated birthday! 2 days late D:

    Darius MauriceDarius Maurice20 dager siden
  • Love based on friendship - YES!

    Mariko the CheetahMariko the Cheetah21 dag siden
  • 10 seconds in.. -what? You look 20. Anyway, happy birthday! Hope you’re safe and healthy.

    arfiana rsarfiana rs22 dager siden
  • Спасибо за твой канал на русском языке! Ты помогаешь людям! 🇷🇺❤️

    Марина ВостряковаМарина ВостряковаMåned siden
  • His mouth is so huge it looks like he’s been annoying oranged.

    Sophie-Marie ThirskSophie-Marie ThirskMåned siden
  • Thanks alot man I'm turning 20 in 6 months and I just realized that I want to achieve as many accomplishments as I can in these few months💙

    Fatm A.Fatm A.Måned siden
  • I'm gonna be 25 in less than a month. Never had a girlfriend. At this point I'm just being bored and am watching all the videos YT recommends

    Zed GPZed GPMåned siden
  • “Stay in the same city as them to maintain friendships” *moves to Brazil*

    CraigCraigMåned siden
  • I just want to date you./..

    King westKing westMåned siden
  • You look very young :D

    Kiri SeraphKiri Seraph2 måneder siden
  • Singles often give the best relationship advices :')

    Kah Yau LimKah Yau Lim2 måneder siden
  • 5:29 We have no idea how many relationships there are that ARE maintaining with a secret, because they're still secret. But I do agree, you should tell them, simply because it's ethical and the Cheatee deserves better.

    David EeDavid Ee3 måneder siden
  • Don't give up relationships for friendships either. Mind you, I'm not talking about just starting a relationship and deciding not to take it further because your friends don't approve. That's different. I'm talking about leaving a spouse of several years because friends told you to. Soulmates trump best friends everytime or it isn't real love to begin with.

    AcidDomeAcidDome3 måneder siden
  • If you were 26 and never dated a girl yet, how would you feel? Would you be worry?

    Serpiente anónimaSerpiente anónima3 måneder siden
  • I thought you were in your 20s 😅

    Chris SChris S3 måneder siden
  • when you said "If you cut your friends out , you will suffer" Everyone felt that

    Shubham Patil A-30Shubham Patil A-303 måneder siden
  • Not gonna happen, no matter what! 😁

    Lóránt FarkasLóránt Farkas3 måneder siden
  • I see.. the main reason my relationship always broke wae number 7 😣

    IPunk alias PurnomoIPunk alias Purnomo3 måneder siden
  • nope stop lying ur definitely 22

    YENVIYENVI3 måneder siden
  • That feeling when you want to put a like, but you already did it. Twice

    MaxMax3 måneder siden
  • To be honest I feel like the last point also applies to literally EVERY romance movie I have ever seen😂 In every one of those movies there is a misunderstanding because they don't explain themselves (unless it involves infidelity) Also AMAZING video!!!! All these pains just make SO MUCH SENSE!! And to think we all make such silly mistakes😂

    Roshni. SRoshni. S3 måneder siden
  • I wish i know it when i was young😭

    snail shellsnail shell4 måneder siden
  • never dated in my 20s, just prostitutes, maybe this will come in handy for my 30s

    J JamesonJ Jameson4 måneder siden
  • Geez this dude has aged so well, I would’ve believed he was still 25 if you told me with a straight face.

    Joseph KusmerJoseph Kusmer4 måneder siden
  • Honest and interesting video. To me without a deep Emotional Connection between the man and the woman, you will not be friends after being intimate. It takes time and togetherness to become friends. It does take time and common experiences to understand a person's true self. #7 is interesting in how it is represented. I think what should be said is that in communication with women you have to understand it is Emotionally (Empathy) based. Look for the underlying emotional message, and if not apparent ask what she is feeling. Work on the meaning together before providing any solution, if you offer any at all. Being present and attuned to her emotions as a way to communication is what is important. Always take time in finding aspects of her state of mind (Emotions), be understand and allow her to arrive at what she is completely trying to say.

    Wind WardWind Ward4 måneder siden
  • I have a crush on my classmate I'm nerdy one but kinda cool and she kinda wanna keep our relationship secret that even I shouldn't know she likes me. she is a little taller than me. friends say leave her she's not for u. but I'm stuck, I can't forget her. I want some kinda relationship with her and she have a fake boyfriend too. I know this is crazy but I love her. I don't know what to do?

    FabCodeFabCode4 måneder siden
  • 'date by vote' man who do that

    FabCodeFabCode4 måneder siden
  • Thank you, i can so relate. We probably all had lots of pitfalls in that

    Alexander AnisimovAlexander Anisimov4 måneder siden
  • soo yr saying 2020 33 looking like this omfg

    Frost D.HFrost D.H4 måneder siden
  • don't tell if you cheat. Seriously.

    x zx z4 måneder siden
  • We have the same birthday \o/

    A'sa DickensA'sa Dickens4 måneder siden
  • This guy is 32?! Thought this was just a college student.

    Quinten De BruinQuinten De Bruin4 måneder siden
  • I don't think internal motivation is strong enough to change habits most of the time. You need to change the environment of people and literally condition them if you want any sort of change. Also happiness isn't the best measure of the quality of a relationship either, because you should be happy without them as well. This is a technicallity, but I would say a better measure is relationship satisfaction.

    Micha SengottaMicha Sengotta4 måneder siden
  • I'd phrase it "infatuation is a phase" rather than "chemistry is a phase". It's a little clearer imo

    JashaJasha4 måneder siden
  • Does Episoketren System really help to improve your soccer technique? We have read a lot of good stuff about this popular training course.

    Wilber SevernsWilber Severns4 måneder siden
  • Why does it matter? I'll never be accepted anyway

    Andrew KomanieckiAndrew Komaniecki4 måneder siden
  • Hi there, have you considered Troplusfix Dating Secrets yet? Simply do a search engine search. On there you'll find an awesome tips about how exactly you can get laid by hot girl. Why not give it a chance? maybe it can work for you too.

    Mike GibsonMike Gibson4 måneder siden
  • Skip to 9:14

    The Kickboxing CommunityThe Kickboxing Community4 måneder siden
  • What the f*** he is 32 wowww men he looks 24!!!!😨😨😱😭😭

    mimi mariamimi maria4 måneder siden
  • 9:10 done

  • Do you do Botox?

    James MillerJames Miller4 måneder siden
  • Dude i'm 21 and i look 32 and you look 21 and u are 32

    Anirudh PeteAnirudh Pete4 måneder siden
  • Bruh you preach such Commen Sense,Love it!

    Jacob FeldmanJacob Feldman4 måneder siden
  • 32?!? Boy, I thought you were a teenager

    Pablo PerazaPablo Peraza4 måneder siden
  • Ugh I'm 24 and single for the last 2 years and I needed this!!!

    Mesha FMesha F4 måneder siden
  • You will suffer.

    ZtrueStileZtrueStile4 måneder siden
  • I think you are one of those incredible people who truly are here on Earth for a purpose.Whenever I watch your videos you share your life experience with so much honesty, vulnerability and what you teach - charisma😀. Big thanx for doing what you do !

    Tana FRJTana FRJ5 måneder siden
  • You remind me of Gaz from Geordie Shore 😂😂

    Rachel WellRachel Well5 måneder siden
  • Great advice

    Hunter GHunter G5 måneder siden
  • Damn you look good for 32

    MikaellaMikaella5 måneder siden
  • Great video. I agree on all of it. Have made many similar observations and had to learn some hard lessons with my ex-husband. But he is history now. I really enjoy how you put it out here so clearly. Thank you for your kindness and best greetings from Germany, Mike.

    Michael LodwichMichael Lodwich5 måneder siden
  • I think duration matters in the case of seeing if your still compatible after infatuation. I agree time isn’t always everything, but I also live in a state where people get married after dating for a month.

    kenzie chamberskenzie chambers5 måneder siden
  • "dating for 10 years". That's what people call a relationship, lol.

    The CaptainThe Captain5 måneder siden
  • I dont think some one in your situation and experience make you an authority to give advice. It's more opinion than knowledge or advice. This is not ment to be hurtful just a point.

    Ted LongeTed Longe5 måneder siden
  • 32?!!

    StoppelstobbeStoppelstobbe5 måneder siden
  • Dang! 32!?!? Boy you did not age since 21!

    Valentin Espinoza Jr.Valentin Espinoza Jr.5 måneder siden
  • These are all spot on, nice work.

    N CN C5 måneder siden
  • Umm I'm a major simp... But i can never get a girls attention like seriously i need help.. and this video really hlepss

    King DouchbagKing Douchbag5 måneder siden
  • It depends on how you view negotiation. I've been reading Chris Voss' book Never Split the Difference and his approach to negotiation is about empathising with the person's emotional state and learning to understand what makes them tick

    Silvia R.Silvia R.5 måneder siden
  • Amazing content !!!

    Daily UpgradeDaily Upgrade5 måneder siden
  • Jesus loves you. If you repent of your sins and give your life to Him: He will fill you with love, give you happiness in your life, and bless you. The next time that you feel sick or worried or scared, ask Jesus into your heart and your life will get better. Videos will never fill the void inside of you, but Jesus will if you give your life to Him. He will love you, keep you company, and answer your questions. He is real and a lot of the time He will speak to you through your conscience. God is love and everything good comes from Him. Everything good in the world comes from love. Romantic love, familial love, friendship, the love you feel for your hobbies, the love you have for your favorite music, favorite food, favorite movie, etc. All of it comes from God. Without love there is no point to life. It is what we all live for and it is what we were all made for, but the devil tries to ruin everything with fear, stress, worry, etc. Try to get to know God. He is truly worth worshipping.

    Shining StarShining Star5 måneder siden
  • Wait a second... If you think that one should break up when you're growing differently, why did you get married?

    The Power MovesThe Power Moves5 måneder siden
  • Love how this dude stays on topic and gets to the key points ! Great content

    Dave MuellerDave Mueller5 måneder siden
  • What vegetable did he eat

    AxelAxel5 måneder siden
  • He’s right about duration. Had my heartbroken recently by a girl I thought was the one. We spent 10 amazing months together and then she wanted to leave because she was unhappy. And once my head cleared up after the shock, I realized we were just way too different. But I learned a lot, had a lot of fun, and will always appreciate her having been in my life.

    Top Floor IncTop Floor Inc5 måneder siden
  • According to psychiatrists, it’s NOT chemistry we go for. It’s familiarity.

    Cricket HopCricket Hop5 måneder siden
  • That’s so corny to approach a smoker like that. How about come from a place of love. Like I care about your health baby. Hopefully she divorces your friend. He sounds like a control freak.

    Crawl CrawlCrawl Crawl5 måneder siden
  • I’m a video gamer, I just choose someone and let them lead.

    Crawl CrawlCrawl Crawl5 måneder siden
  • Happy belated birthday bud!

    Rave N8Rave N85 måneder siden
  • Not knowing about dating in my early 20's and eventually having a bad breakup, helped me later on become a successful dating coach.

    PickupAlphaPickupAlpha5 måneder siden
  • I appreciate your humbleness and ability to never seem like you’re above your audience!

    Asher SoteloAsher Sotelo5 måneder siden
  • Goddamn, this guy really fuels my hope for this world.

    Even AarekEven Aarek6 måneder siden
  • I reeally need a man like you

    Лидия НиконоваЛидия Никонова6 måneder siden
  • Why the hell he dated someone that smokes, for 10 years! if it's a problem for him!?!? Like, I hate cigarettes, too & wouldn't be able to stay with a man that smokes for 10 years!

    Silva CleoSilva Cleo6 måneder siden
  • Hey hey you were in Costa Rica ?? Niceeee 👌🏽

    Francisco Brenes HerreraFrancisco Brenes Herrera6 måneder siden
  • Thank you for this. Made me realize a lot of things. I'm 20 years old, currently going through a break up from a 2 year relationship. This whole video made so much sense because it perfectly described my relationship with my ex. Wish i could've handled it differently but well, i'm glad i ended it.

    TheaThea6 måneder siden
  • great content!

    vanessa adrianavanessa adriana6 måneder siden
  • Hi! I have been semi-binging your videos lately but this one kind of hit home with me, especially point 5. I am only 18 and I don't have much experience with dating yet, but when I look at my grandparents I can easily tell what difference that 5th point makes. My grandparents on my father's side are not happily married, they only act like they are towards the outside world and I always feel like they are hiding so much. Meanwhile my grandparents on my mother's side are probably the most happily married people I know. They cuss and call each other names, but they never have to hide anything from each other and my grandpa frequently talks about how the day he met my grandmother was the best day of his life, and knowing how much of an honest man he is I can tell that he means that :) Thanks for the video and have a great day!

    Sam Van KanSam Van Kan6 måneder siden
  • Happy bday mi amigo

    Toe DevourerToe Devourer6 måneder siden
  • JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY you took everything I have tried to explain to myself and others and made it into a fairly accurate 7 point video. Where is your cheer button at? This man needs some pennies and dimes.

    Jaren HudsonJaren Hudson7 måneder siden
  • 32? Like the average of your physical + mental age?

    jarjarlove22jarjarlove227 måneder siden
  • What is Troplusfix Dating Secrets and how does it work? I hear many people get laid by hot women with this popular dating course.

    Jenny GrossJenny Gross7 måneder siden
  • 32 😱😱😱😱 bruh you look 28 or so

    Vinny MichaelVinny Michael7 måneder siden
  • 32 😱😱😱😱 bruh you look 28 or so

    Vinny MichaelVinny Michael7 måneder siden
  • 32 😱😱😱😱 bruh you look 28 or so

    Vinny MichaelVinny Michael7 måneder siden
  • wait you're 73?? bruh i thought you were like 3-4!!

    hellsgate700hellsgate7007 måneder siden
  • NOworld recommended me this as soon as I turned 20 lol what

    That GuyThat Guy7 måneder siden
  • my first thought looking at the thumbnail.... is this guy not still in his 20’s??? bruh

    Gabi BelleGabi Belle7 måneder siden
  • Actually, chemistry IS essential, not talking about the "butterflies" that may not last forever, but that mutual sense of comfortable belonging.. Without this chemistry, it is not really possible for the relationship to be happy, healthy and lasting...

    Di8NEY FOREVERDi8NEY FOREVER8 måneder siden
  • 32?!!!!!!!! Bro you look 20 years old MAX! Now I'm going to watch all your videos differently now that I got that on my mind! 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

    Jonah wareJonah ware8 måneder siden
  • Great example for the 3rd tip he gave are Barack and Michelle Obama

    Wase eWase e8 måneder siden
  • What is Troplusfix Dating Secrets? We've heard many amazing things about this popular dating course.

    Arlinda McgeeArlinda Mcgee8 måneder siden
  • We have the same birthday!!

    grayce domeiergrayce domeier8 måneder siden
  • That last one is so crucial to stop people from overthinking and taking things personally. I know it would help me for sure. I hope everyone has enough sense to do that all the time

    Selina MaraSelina Mara8 måneder siden
  • friend zone? no thanks no wonder you are still single. sorry to say but seriously. chemistry is everything, once peoples chemistry match they will belong together and think like each other.

    jason doejason doe8 måneder siden
  • We share birthdays ! 🔥

    Gustavo castrejonGustavo castrejon8 måneder siden
  • 3:03 there he goes again assuming i have friends ... lol

    Will RWill R8 måneder siden