How To Overcome Being Socially Awkward

28. sep.. 2020
260 069 Ganger

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We have all had moments in our lives where we were more awkward than we would like to be, and we have all had moments where we surprised ourselves with how charming, charismatic and confident we can be. The questions is: how do we go from one to the other on command?
I think that Elon Musk is a great example of someone that represents the best of both worlds. That's why in this video, I want to dive into some clips of Elon to see what you can learn, and how to turn those moments where you are awkward and turn them into ones where you are charming and charismatic.

0:00 - Intro.
1:58 - #1: Elaborate on the question
2:33 - #2: Make consistent eye contact.
3:47 - #3: Crack an understated joke.
5:06 - #4: Embrace the silence.
6:08 - #5: Prime yourself.
7:22 - #6: Fully commit.
#ElonMusk #CharismaOnCommand

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Or if you want to see our personal stuff:
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

  • When you spkoke on elon needing to get warmed up i found that relatable. I guess its comes from me being an observer and just feeling out energies

    thebransnipeDthebransnipeDDag siden
  • anyone noticed the changing painting in the background?

    Luther McCreeLuther McCree2 dager siden
  • How much is charisma university?

    The FutureThe Future3 dager siden
    • (Cost)

      The FutureThe Future3 dager siden
  • I think you may be getting Elon wrong. He is supremely confident and actually thrives at times on creating awkwardness…because it’s so emblematic of his ant-establishment style….and it actually makes others uncomfortable….which is where you want them…specially if they need something from you. I’m sure he is able to easily bring it together any time it benefits him.

    BravozuluBravozulu3 dager siden
  • So basically Elon is more like us than any other celebrity because he is imperfect and that makes him perfect. However, your advice is definitely helpful Charlie. Too many quirks will make the entire room nervous.

    AdraidoAdraido5 dager siden
  • What explains this about Elon in this.. Elon has Aspergers. Which basically, is a condition that the person can't socially connect with, other people. Which makes you very shy, and awkward with others.

    Jeffery JefferyJeffery Jeffery5 dager siden
  • I wish I can stop being awkward and despite how helpful this video is its too late like i need to start a new life with new ppl

    Oboxi 69Oboxi 696 dager siden
  • Bro the freakin painting

    justin vaughnjustin vaughn12 dager siden
  • I love that you bring up the warmup in the car on the way to work/interviews/etc. I do this every morning! Sometimes it’s with music, sometimes it’s with these videos 👍

    KH90KH9016 dager siden
  • I love your videos but Elon is not a good example, he talks the way he does because he allows himself time to actually think before he answers, there was a great podcast with his number two guy who spoke at length about this and when you hear his point of view, which is obviously way more experienced than yours, it makes perfect sense. What you perceive as awkward is Elon doing precisely what all humans should do... think before they speak and not feel the need to fill the empty space with unthought-out answers.

    Peter HoffmanPeter Hoffman17 dager siden
  • I really like that you don't use jump cuts in your editing process, and instead when you make mistakes in talking, you let it happen naturally, then get back to the original point. Great job Charlie !

    Mary CupcakeMary Cupcake19 dager siden
  • He needs to fire whoever didn’t rehearse the “throw at the glass” before there was an audience.....oh wait, probably his call LOL.....the dancing tho....nawh

    NotJustAnother MotherNotJustAnother Mother24 dager siden
  • Dude should just pound a shot before going on stage. Take the edge off.

    shortlivedgloryshortlivedgloryMåned siden
  • poeple keep learning the charisma, do a course in it, taking care of every minute body language tend to finally lose themselves. I think it is alright unless one is bizzare. Every personality is cool.

    DeenbandhuDeenbandhuMåned siden
  • He naturally lacks social skills and a introvert. He worked hard for improving his social skills but as an introvert myself I know every introvert has a limited social battery. So it becomes very difficult to be consistent being charasmatic when your battery is down. And I think the different behaviour at different instances reflects on his social energy at that moment.

    Shri Krishna DwivediShri Krishna DwivediMåned siden
  • 3:56 picture of Elon is a bit scary

    jesuyackedjesuyackedMåned siden
  • I don't think he even cares about being consistent in having charisma. He's just himself, being as awkward as much as he wants. There's really no right way to be, just be you.

    真空真空2 måneder siden
  • Myself included, some people require a lot of thought and consideration when they act and speak. When I do this it's because I don't want people to get me wrong. This is especially prevalent when I am trying to argue a point with people. I tend to write so much you better than I speak. I wouldn't be surprised if Elon is a good planner or writer. I tend to stare off in the distance when I think and speak because staring somebody in the eyes while trying to do it is very distracting to my thoughts. He needs to lose himself in the topic in his mind before he can clearly speak about seems.

    Johnny FoJohnny Fo2 måneder siden
  • you are a personality trainer?

    sofi Asofi A2 måneder siden
  • A quick little hit of weed can change everything

    Dr. JayDr. Jay2 måneder siden
  • He got tired of dying a thousand deaths.

    john doejohn doe2 måneder siden
  • I think one thing that often works against Elon is not only his own habits but people view him as being incredibly brilliant and he is but frequently expected to produce complex explanations on the spot with little to no context a lot. Like he is brilliant but people look at him like a real life Tony Stark and actually idealize him quite a bit. That's a lot of pressure. Nobody expects small talk out of him and it puts him in a tough spot.

    Erik KraynykErik Kraynyk2 måneder siden
  • The thing is, he’s terrible, socially speaking. But that doesn’t matter because of his resume.

    EvanEvan2 måneder siden
  • 3:57 the poster

    It's Gary TimeIt's Gary Time2 måneder siden
  • I honestly think elon is just comfortable in his own skin.

    joecramerone _joecramerone _2 måneder siden
  • Your smile is absolutely beautiful

    ChitoChito2 måneder siden
  • I think its great that Elons socially awkward, makes me feel not so bad about myself when the richest man in the world is the same as me just way more successful

    gravebwoy shynegravebwoy shyne3 måneder siden
  • Elon is an amazing communicator when he gets into a zone of something he knows very well. Interview with the Everyday Astronaut for example. watch?v=cIQ36Kt7UVg He still shows a bit of nerdy awkwardness though, it's part of his charm.

    Harold LawsonHarold Lawson3 måneder siden
  • i'm the most socially awkward person i've ever met, so being anything close to the opposite would be too much of a challenge i think, but i'll try and keep these suggestions in mind for the future. not the dancing or playing a character though lol, i can't dance or act to save my life lol

    Careless DreamerCareless Dreamer3 måneder siden
  • You’re so cool. You remind me of my German teacher. I know he taught sociology too I bet he knew a lot of the tips on this channel. Thank you again for your videos

    Petrie BerriesPetrie Berries3 måneder siden
  • Elon is obviously on the spectrum, essentially everything you highlighted in this video are perfectly examples of a "high functioning" undiagnosed adult on the spectrum that's had to spend their entire life coping with nonverbal (and verbal) socialization feeling unnatural and alien.

    RosscoAWRosscoAW3 måneder siden
  • I think it is impossible that someone would be awkward and lack confidence and still be billionaire. It is extremely hard to be a billionaire with millions of charming people working hard to rise to the top. If Musk was awkward or lacked confidence, he would still be living in his mum's basement. Musk is silently confident like INTJs. He shows confidence where it is needed and in his ground state, he is quite modest and doesn't care about superficial style but merit and achievement.

    Saqlain SyedSaqlain Syed3 måneder siden
  • NOworld put this in my recommended for no reason and I feel called out.

    The DoctorThe Doctor3 måneder siden
  • Pretty sure Elon’s in the spectrum.

    t. rosenbergt. rosenberg3 måneder siden
  • 7:11 "this is fire" killed me

    Davide BoscarinoDavide Boscarino3 måneder siden
  • i am not a big fan of the reaction, this is a reaction video

    Lai WongLai Wong3 måneder siden
  • Please make a video on Cate Blanchett

    sridhar vaishnavasridhar vaishnava3 måneder siden
  • Anyone else going to mention the Elon musk pics in the back 🤣

    Alex Aka BurnzAlex Aka Burnz3 måneder siden
  • RIP Jack Ma

    Cory AlfordCory Alford4 måneder siden
  • As someone who is (undiagnosed) Asperger's, I do believe Elon is on the spectrum, which is indicated in his awkward and different mannerisms. Just an ongoing observation.

    Carrie CouzensCarrie Couzens4 måneder siden
  • I was not expecting that Impractical Jokers clip lmao

    AndreaAndrea4 måneder siden
  • 3:56 What's up with Elon in the corner... 🤣🤣🤣

    Yash GulaveYash Gulave4 måneder siden
  • Did you see that he changes the picture in his background in every scene.

    Raghav kumarRaghav kumar4 måneder siden
  • Turn awkwardness into charisma: 1)Eloborate the question 2)Make consistent eye contact while talking. 3)Crack an understandable joke. 4)Embrace the silence in awkward situations. 5)Warm up yourself before the interaction and it will be much smoother. 6)Fully Commit. This is key when telling stories,playing a character or dancing.

    Eagle EyeEagle Eye4 måneder siden
  • I can't believe the cybertruck thing was a year ago

    They call me WoodstockThey call me Woodstock4 måneder siden
  • 1:47 I found that interview sincere and therefore engaging. It had contents and not all form. I felt like I got to see behind a public figure's persona, and into their private struggles. Granted, Musk was stylizing the "Tortured Genius" role, but still... It's one of the Rogan interviews I've enjoyed the most. I'm very surprised CoC would use it as an example of low charisma. Perhaps I have a different perspective as a European. I love America, but you have a taste for a fast pace and showmanship that many other countries think takes away from sincerity and depth. You also worship extroversion, and I think that comes into play in how CoC views this interview. Musk is perhaps a little introverted. He's introspective and sharing his thoughts and feelings. America isn't really _about_ _that,_ as you say.

    MarblesMarbles5 måneder siden
  • you're asking ton Aspie to make eye contact and elaborate on the answers. Lol

    Slizzle Tech&GamingSlizzle Tech&Gaming5 måneder siden
  • 3:36 well offcourse he was a lil unconfortable.. he just saw his stock go down.

    Tom NTom N5 måneder siden
  • did you guys see the background photograph with photobooth mirror elon musk? I thought it was funny

    Thompson SaffellThompson Saffell5 måneder siden
  • Something was botherin me about this guy, and on further inspection. The eyebrows are going to far to the sides. Hmmmm

    young Memyoung Mem5 måneder siden
  • What you call "charming" I call creepy. Just be NATURAL.

    Greg AGreg A5 måneder siden
  • Sure he may have come a long way but I honestly I’ve never seen someone so bad at public speaking do so much of it. He exhibits so many big “no no’s” that anyone can learn about in a basic class on public speaking. His body language is awkward, he’s constantly stumbling over his words (so many uhs and ums) and he clearly seems uncomfortable any time he does it. I give him props for going out there anyway though because it’s obviously not his best skill.

    Nic HalabickyNic Halabicky5 måneder siden
  • Still elon managed to get beautiful actresses as gf (Charismatic)

    dhanish ahmedhdhanish ahmedh5 måneder siden
  • I would join CU but I am a student and i don’t have the money for it...

    Crow's EyeCrow's Eye5 måneder siden
  • He stated about the Joe Rogan show. He was overwhelmed and tired of work. Stressed with work and it was difficult for him to be focused.

    Luke WenbergLuke Wenberg5 måneder siden
  • Elon Musk is Thersa Mays love child with...

    Gary Williams UKGary Williams UK5 måneder siden
  • That is crazy..cuz it s probabily a lie

    IuliaIulia5 måneder siden
  • hey this was great! but can we get one specifically for zoom/voice only meetings where no one can use body language or eye contact anymore? i always come off like either awkward or jerkish online :(

    greenwatermelonegreenwatermelone6 måneder siden
  • Has anyone tried charisma University? If so I would love to chat with you about your experience to see if it's a good fit for me. :) please message me on my Instagram @copywriter777. Thanks.

    Ana ObeeAna Obee6 måneder siden
  • 4:27 this is the face of someone that believes himself to be an expert on charisma

    SoukEyeSoukEye6 måneder siden
  • The picture in the back cracks me up 3:57

    ValinnerValinner6 måneder siden
  • He looks hungover

    David LaBrancheDavid LaBranche6 måneder siden
  • Could you please do an analysis on Joe Goldberg from YOU.

    Luthando MbiliLuthando Mbili6 måneder siden
  • I'm I the only one hear noticing that picture frame behind him?

    pahul gognapahul gogna6 måneder siden
  • Simple, be a billionaire and everyone will love you.

    Hans KarpsHans Karps6 måneder siden
  • 0:58 Elon Musk is behind you!

    Adeel GamesAdeel Games6 måneder siden

    HH6 måneder siden
  • Please make a video on Leonardo DiCaprio charisma

    Bhavana MahajanBhavana Mahajan6 måneder siden
  • can you do catherine de medici from reign

    #Inn3rpeacebeats#Inn3rpeacebeats6 måneder siden
  • If everyone will BE charming noone will be

    Prof. Dr. Kalthasar Eternum TenebrisProf. Dr. Kalthasar Eternum Tenebris6 måneder siden
  • Please go back to your old format

    mostly truemostly true6 måneder siden
  • do impartical joker pleaseeeeeeeeeeee

    VALOLITESVALOLITES6 måneder siden
  • Do you have top 10 good books to read about working on conversation skills

    Carlos De La TorreCarlos De La Torre6 måneder siden
  • Nice videos. Thanks Charlie and Ben I've learnt some cool stuff from this channel.

    Judah LusJudah Lus6 måneder siden
  • Please do one on Robert Pattinson!!!! Thanks

    rebel artèrebel artè6 måneder siden
  • He's less shy now because he's flooded with serotonin from being the boss. When you have four different companies, two of which are changing the world, you are going to be less intimidated talking to people because there's security in success.

    CountArthaCountArtha7 måneder siden
  • 9:20 it means not everyone is meant to be a Chris Pratt.

    Eric J AEric J A7 måneder siden
  • When something goes wrong ??? You think, that breaking the windows was not directed ? LOL ! Nothing went wrong ... never. That was the scenario.

    Hristo HristovHristo Hristov7 måneder siden
  • We still need a charisma breakdown of Captain Jack Sparrow.

    Prateek AnnamPrateek Annam7 måneder siden
    • @super smoo you dont really need permission tbh you can usually put in a disclaimer saying you own nothing. Thats something a lotta people do to avoid copyright strikes for anime music videos (AMV’s)

      growingoaks productionsgrowingoaks productions3 dager siden
    • Anti-charisma

      growingoaks productionsgrowingoaks productions3 dager siden
    • @super smoo Hey, no problem :-) Oh and btw, sorry if I came off a bit harsh there lol, that wasn’t my intention.

      Rand0mN0rwegianGuyRand0mN0rwegianGuyMåned siden
    • @Rand0mN0rwegianGuy Gotcha, thanks for the information.

      super smoosuper smooMåned siden
    • @super smoo Lol he doesn't need their "permission" to use some clips from the films. It's under so-called "fair use"; just like with all the other different clips that uses, all of the time, from other movies and shows in videos. Of course he could do that if he wanted to, and hey - maybe he will at some point. Who knows

      Rand0mN0rwegianGuyRand0mN0rwegianGuyMåned siden
  • You should hear what the Panasonic employees say about him at his Gigfactory. Lets just say its not good. . .

    Mark ComputerTechMark ComputerTech7 måneder siden
  • I was singing on stage once, screwed up the key, lyrics, and timing. Stopped singing, laughed, said something like, "Well there's a good reason to practice more than I did! Can we start over?" Everyone laughed, and this story already sounds so fake I'm not even gonna finish it.

    Kye RaffertyKye Rafferty7 måneder siden
  • his mouth is much slower than his mind.

    ROHIT MAITYROHIT MAITY7 måneder siden
  • He's very intelligent AND has become the 3rd richest person in the world... if I acted like him in a conversation with someone I'd become the "don't talk to him!" guy in no time. Most examples used are always celebrities or highly successful people, and those factors are always ignored as being factors in how people react to them.

    LyleDeYoungesLyleDeYounges7 måneder siden
  • Elon knows exactly what's going on lmaooo, Jack Ma is just such a fkn pleb, yeah he can sell stuff but really Jack Ma, Alibaba Intelligence?...God help us

    Blue_Veined_Aristocrat [ASIA]Blue_Veined_Aristocrat [ASIA]7 måneder siden
  • If Elon Musk weren't the ultra-rich and successful investor he is, he'd probably be seen as awkward and childish. There are some good tips in this video but Musk is not very charismatic.

    Tim FischerTim Fischer7 måneder siden
  • I myself am on a journey of finding and analysing such character traits of people. I find your videos so interesting. Thank you for the valuable info and analysis. I also go through awkward moments when I talk to people and I use the 3rd technique a lot. Thank you so much again.

    Shihara Dias-BandaranayakeShihara Dias-Bandaranayake7 måneder siden
  • Do a breakdown on Ronald Reagan and JFK

    LudicrousLoganLudicrousLogan7 måneder siden
  • Duuuuude your mouth has grown bigger or longer throughout time

    sonofsunsonofsun7 måneder siden
  • He's obviously burned out dude just look at his eyes

    Raymond RiveraRaymond Rivera7 måneder siden
  • Its all good he has Social Anxiety disorder. You'll get through it buddy.

    Kid LiterateKid Literate7 måneder siden
  • Those are some awesome dad it

    Margo Noor HMargo Noor H7 måneder siden
  • Did you watch a little longer at 3:30? I'd think his "this can be fixed in post" comment would be good.

    Tom GauthierTom Gauthier7 måneder siden
  • Elon is the most awkward public speaker in the world. He can't put together a basic sentence. He is humming and hawing all the time. Even non English native speakers speak more fluently

    Petros PetridisPetros Petridis7 måneder siden
  • You’re a very handsome man, but you’d look even better with a beard. Just something to think about.🧔🏻

    Puff TMDPuff TMD7 måneder siden
  • Chris Martin next please!

    KaranKaran7 måneder siden
  • Finally... Charisma on Command

    Anirudh RowjeeAnirudh Rowjee7 måneder siden
  • He continuesly changing elons photo in his background.

    Pugazh GaneshPugazh Ganesh7 måneder siden
  • Good job guys

    AlvaroDigitalAlvaroDigital7 måneder siden
  • Is it me or does he remind you of someone doctor Mike maybe?

    Jasmin NguyenJasmin Nguyen7 måneder siden
  • where can i get the background photo of elon musk ?

    Fitch75Fitch757 måneder siden