How To Stand Up For Yourself During Conflict

28. des.. 2020
319 781 Ganger

Join Our 5000+ Members At Charisma University
Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s NOworld Account:

People can be hostile with a fake friendly demeanor. It becomes tricky to know whether to confront them or just smile through it.
That’s why In today’s video we’re covering a 4 step method you can use to stand up to rude, passive-aggressive behavior without being a jerk. We’ll be using a tense Robert Downey JR interview we covered in one of our first videos, but we thought an update with more concrete advice and visuals would be useful.

0:00 - Intro
0:21 - N: Nonverbally warn them to stop
2:21 - I: The indirect warning shot
3:31 - C: The callout
4:48 - E: Exit the situation
#RobertDowneyJR #CharismaOnCommand

Connect with us further:
Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand
Or if you want to see our personal stuff:
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

  • Piece of cake. And i command respect everyday. Work retail.

    Logan ByrneLogan Byrne18 dager siden
  • My best warning shot starts with "Would you do me a favor? Help me understand..."

    David WDavid W18 dager siden
  • THANK YOU! I’m surrounded by these Judas types more than I’d ever like to admit. Saving this to put on repeat. Lol. For me it’s so much easier to deal with some obvious jerk than these types. Lol. Esp that look from Russell Brand. I’m practicing that one. Like quiet outrage. Like really? You did NOT just insult me like that. Unacceptable! Lol.

    Stephanie RogersStephanie Rogers18 dager siden
  • I was at the barber and he said something about my weight, he wasn’t rude but it was just uncomfortable so I kinda just squinted and he got the signal. So helpful video

    Viggo077Viggo07719 dager siden
  • Ignoring the Person doing Rude Behavior. I can't remove myself. Because this is my place.

    Jamie Cee49Jamie Cee4920 dager siden
  • You lose respect by the callout. So leaving is best and optimal outcome.

    Hurk 4TheWinHurk 4TheWin20 dager siden
  • Love it!

    Camylle AzevedoCamylle Azevedo21 dag siden
  • Mine is my adult daughter, I find I don’t call her out but exit. 😢

    Deanna GonzalesDeanna Gonzales21 dag siden
  • I have a co worker who sorta just got out of prison, for some reason he had a problem with me one day and decided to be indirectly aggressive and passive aggressive towards me, i tried removing myself from the situation multiple times, he decides to follow me around the workplace every few minutes and bother me in an indirect way. (Like shoulder bumping into me while i was working, plopping stuff next to me and walking away, just constantly finding ways to get into my personal bubble) Idk what to do with a person like this, i assume this is some way of asserting dominance he learned in prison, im a normal guy, not some thug, what should i do?

    Ⓐ ANARCHY ⒶⒶ ANARCHY Ⓐ22 dager siden
  • These 4 approach stem from self respect for your time, energy and character. Raise your self respect and self boundaries and you will automatically raise your worth

    Male Nurse 360Male Nurse 36022 dager siden
  • Thanks, I just had a problem with this and communicated poorly...

    Eli NopeEli Nope22 dager siden
  • Amazing! Very helpful😁

    Ahmed MonisAhmed Monis22 dager siden
  • Why did that loser ask robert if he was a libtard? Was he aiming to cancel him if he came out as non libtard (aka "evil" republican)?

    tom jenstom jens22 dager siden
  • I be ready to take people outside and beat them

    King- NickKing- Nick22 dager siden
  • im so gullible i got bullied young

    Wong PentelWong Pentel26 dager siden
  • WOW! Great stuff! I subscribed. Looking forward to other content from this chanel!

    Ceil ConstanteCeil ConstanteMåned siden
  • Really helpful video! I really appreciate how you’ve taken the time to break everything down and make an easy to remember acronym. Your previous video that you mentioned helped me a lot at work where coworkers or guests (we call customers guests) would be passive aggressive. The only bit of criticism I have, that may be nitpicky or trivial, would be the use of positive and negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement would be adding a stimulus to increase/maintain behavior and negative reinforcement is removing a stimulus to increase/maintain behavior. So in the example of using non verbal cues you’re introducing stimulus to discourage behavior which would be a positive punishment. And in ignoring someone you’re removing stimulus to discourage behavior which would be a negative punishment. Really great work otherwise and I look forward to your videos in the future! My best.

    Smkop14 MSmkop14 MMåned siden
  • 1:51 “try, it’s never gonna work, go ahead” she was mad

    yeetboi tyyeetboi tyMåned siden
  • I’ve been on both ends of this scenario. Sometimes you try to tell someone they’re doing something wrong but it comes out like belittling. I use to be made fun a lot in school and at home, so I developed the bad habit of just be mean before they’re mean to you. It’s definitely something I’m working on

    Stephanie HanleyStephanie HanleyMåned siden
  • Many Joaquin Phoenix interviews are also good examples of these points

    Rachel NicoleRachel NicoleMåned siden
  • Love this video! One of my favorite things about the last two decades in the 21st century is this shift toward the expectation of treating every individual with respect regardless. And how you have to respect yourself first. "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else!" - RuPaul

    Tara TimmermanTara TimmermanMåned siden
  • Winners win because they are afraid of what might happen if they fail...TRIBE of MENTORS

  • Now i need to know how to apply this in virtual setting : business emails

    RX SevenRX SevenMåned siden
  • Can we revisit the videos and everything afterwards? I.e. I buy it and I'll be able to re-visit it in a year etc?

    Christiaan FunkhouserChristiaan Funkhouser2 måneder siden
  • *N:* _Nonverbal_ *I:* _Indirect warning shot_ *C:* _Callout_ *E:* *_Employ elbow block, attempt wild haymaker, discombobulate_*

    Lewys CousinsLewys Cousins2 måneder siden
  • Be Calm, Clear and Firm.

    V NV N2 måneder siden
  • But how do you stand up for others?

    Daritha100Daritha1002 måneder siden
  • In portuguese language, CU is a very interesting word...nevertheless, nice advice, thank you

    C G BrancoC G Branco2 måneder siden
  • Would you consider doing a version of this for email or social media? I feel like people are so much more passive-aggressive when they can't see the person they're talking to

    Cat SoleCat Sole2 måneder siden
  • My problem is I never did the E, even in my twenties, I would never be able to leave the conversation, not out of any desire to win (because I knew I wouldn't) but because I didn't want to be rude, I was afraid it would be sinking to the level of my debater who would then have something to use against me. In hindsight, so many times, I should have just left. All I had to do was say f the rain outside, f that I have to come home to this person later, and f that they are going to think I'm rude when I've been nothing but polite to them till this point. But it was so difficult, I actually began to feel physically sick. So I ended up getting horribly mistreated. And my time was forever wasted.

    lovetolovefairytaleslovetolovefairytales2 måneder siden
  • Morning Joe is a complete joke. Would you expect anything else?

    Devlins10Devlins102 måneder siden
  • The world is abundant, you can always find a new job, friend, partner etc that makes you just as happy! So don't settle, value yourself highly.

    Waking Up To LifeWaking Up To Life2 måneder siden
  • Is Charisma University only for guys or can it apply to feminine women also?

    More positivityMore positivity2 måneder siden
  • Great now I Have to binge the ENTIRE channel. Well done... hello youtube insomnia my old friend....

    A JonesA Jones2 måneder siden
  • When he showed that will Smith slapping the guy clip at 2:48 😂😂

    Richard RichRichard Rich2 måneder siden
  • Step one: Discombabulate!!!

    Elgun HemzeyevElgun Hemzeyev2 måneder siden
  • When are we gonna get a video breaking down the Kanye/Matt Lauer video?

    Joshua BrownJoshua Brown2 måneder siden
  • What about a workplace

    Mitch The kingMitch The king2 måneder siden
  • you've described passive-aggressiveness very well in your videos with whom ever it may be that you are encountering and how to say calm in those situations while maintaining confidence but, how does one deal with for example a boss or a person with power over you who is very passive-aggressive whom uses double standards with every situation..yes you could look threw the BS of said double standards and or his or her passive-aggressiveness and try to rationally talk threw with said person you end up being the one thats labeled the one in the wrong when you know your not.. how does one deal with a situation like that. could you do a video on double standard manipulation

    Dillon LorenzenDillon Lorenzen2 måneder siden
  • Just by being a very social person I have amazing charisma. This channel is great and underrated. A lot of people need to watch these vids and be less boring lmao. Tryna spice up some things at work and people r mad for no reason LOL.

    Brett MBrett M2 måneder siden
  • Guys while watching this video (or similar informative and insightful) what is the one thing you would like to do here in youtube but you cannot?

    Artashes VardanyanArtashes Vardanyan2 måneder siden
  • ❤❤❤❤

    Matej Matyáš Mikloš, The Vegan God Of WaterMatej Matyáš Mikloš, The Vegan God Of Water3 måneder siden
  • Love the last msg

    Be1smahtBe1smaht3 måneder siden
  • If someone is being rude you should say " you're being very rude" watch them work on it.

    Be1smahtBe1smaht3 måneder siden
  • what if you're walking around in a store or something and someone says something that you don't appreciate but they're not looking at you cause you're walking, how do you nonverbally warn them to stop if they aren't looking at your eyes and you don't want to cause a scene in public?

    Careless DreamerCareless Dreamer3 måneder siden
  • N: Non-verbal, warn them to stop I: Indirect-verbal, warn them what this is about C: Call them out, tell them the consequences E: Exit out/Walk away from them S: Strength E: Energy E: Esteem R: Respect

    I amI am3 måneder siden
  • 6:06

    902 Beats902 Beats3 måneder siden
  • This channel was great until the charisma university ads came along. If you want to give people useful advice thats great but if your product is good you dont need to promote it on your youtube - others will do that for you. Like all self help books and advertisements, its useless to those who dont participate professionally in the field, so thanks but unsubscribed, down-vote. Hope in future I see an improvement, we all have had enough of ads and we dont need things we didnt ask for.

    James VellaJames Vella3 måneder siden
    • @Kenneth Lewis It is what it is my man, good luck to you either way I whole heartedly support your future success and your hard work. Its just my opinion on advertisements. all the best.

      James VellaJames VellaMåned siden
    • Oh wow, you unsubscribed AND downvoted!? You’re one of the less than 1% of people who downvoted this video? I love entitled comments like these lol

      Kenneth LewisKenneth LewisMåned siden
  • You basicly made the same bideo as before

    S. VS. V3 måneder siden
  • I was treated very poorly for years by a group of friends. A few weeks ago I left them for a fresh start. I don't like burning bridges but I couldn't be bothered to waste time to fix my reputation on people that never respected me. I won't apologise for being myself.

    DeswillDeswill3 måneder siden
    • The same happened to me and then I made some new friends, make friends with people who want the best for you

      Alex BAlex B17 dager siden
    • Well done, it's better to have no friends than bad friends

      Alex BAlex B17 dager siden
  • I feel a little grief, but I have to face those with no fear. Thank you Charisma on Command. This is a good advice. 😄🖐 I am your new subscriber by the way. 😄🖐

    Komenco kaj InstigoKomenco kaj Instigo3 måneder siden
  • Please make a video on Cate Blanchett

    sridhar vaishnavasridhar vaishnava3 måneder siden
  • Doesn’t work with managers. Make a vid on that. Otherwise these methods do have some value.

    EricB JohnEricB John3 måneder siden
  • Charlie (and Ben), I never comment on YT videos but I just wanted to say two things, one, in a world of pick up artists and misogynists looking to make a buck off the insecurities of young impressionable men, thank you for teaching our young men to value character and sincerity over all else. the lessons that you teach is invaluable and i hope you know that. we need more men like you in the world. two, i have been watching your channel for years and i rarely see breakdowns of female characters / public figures. now, I understand why you primarily do breakdowns of males given your gender and i assume your audiences’ as well, but featuring more see more female faces on this channel would be beneficial to the growth of this channel. now, whether it’s you guys doing the breakdown or another (female) face is your call but i would love to see more of that. not to mention, even from a business POV i think you guys can breakthrough a far wider audience with this move especially concidering you are one of the few channels of this sort that don’t turn off women bc of the pick up artisty vibe. regards, - a member of your female audience

    Afiya JAfiya J3 måneder siden
  • Is the interviewer the same who totally screwed HRH Princess Diana?

    Nick ThorpNick Thorp3 måneder siden
  • Found this channel on recommendations. The video was from 5 years ago. Still, your talking is far louder then the people you use as an example, better than 5 years ago, but still a marked difference. The difference in volume makes it hard to watch your videos, you have to adjust the volume constantly. Apart from that, the videos are great.

    MyHovercraftIsFullOfEelsMyHovercraftIsFullOfEels3 måneder siden
  • Can you do a video on Benny Colon from Bull?

    Gabe FriasGabe Frias3 måneder siden
  • RDJ should have replied, “you don’t want to pry, what do you mean by that?” .... and just not shifted off that topic.

    Jamie WoodhouseJamie Woodhouse3 måneder siden
  • Please make a video on Cate Blanchett

    sridhar vaishnavasridhar vaishnava3 måneder siden
  • Can you talk about Frank Underwood? He's a very interesting character, and personally I believe there is a great deal of things about him you could analyze

    Rojas DRojas D3 måneder siden
  • Your videos don't pop up on my home page any more,

    Ishmael DixonIshmael Dixon3 måneder siden
  • I cant believe that these guys did not make a video on jhonny depp

    Sabhiuddin jazebSabhiuddin jazeb4 måneder siden
  • my dad: **getting furious in the car with my mom to the point of screaming** me: sooooo, how about that trampoline i saw in the movie

    - niaomi winter -- niaomi winter -4 måneder siden
    • This was sadly relatable.

      Wispy TWispy T3 måneder siden
  • Love these Iron Man breakdowns

    Ben ErdelyiBen Erdelyi4 måneder siden
  • That dude interviewing RDJ did that same thing to Tarantino about the violence in his movies. Dude goes into a press junket interview for a movie and acts like he's doing 60 Minutes and wants to get some deep introspective interview on people. Instead, he just comes across as a douche.

    Username ETC.Username ETC.4 måneder siden
  • Ok

    EagleT VlogsEagleT Vlogs4 måneder siden
  • I wanted to request a video, can u make one on BTS's Jimin? I'm saying this from a non-fan presective but honestly he's one of the most likeable ppl I've seen and ppl around him usually tend to love him fan or not he just has this effect on ppl I'd like u to make a video on him

    glossy winterglossy winter4 måneder siden
    • Interesting perspective Glossy; thanks for sharing this video suggestion, I love BTS!

      MasterTalkMasterTalk4 måneder siden
  • Please breakdown the Tyson interview when promoting on live tv with the mayor.

    PRINCE_LCPRINCE_LC4 måneder siden
    • That's a cool suggestion Prince, thanks for sharing this with us!

      MasterTalkMasterTalk4 måneder siden
  • Well explained method. Makes sense. Setting boundaries is important to develop self-confidence and self-esteem. And you can't go too far in your journey of self-development if you can tell people where the limits are. I saw this interview with Robert Downey JR before, and he knows who he is, what is up to, and how to manage the situation well. It's not without reason he plays the Iron Man really well.

    Rod Katsumata Confidence CoachRod Katsumata Confidence Coach4 måneder siden
  • Oh wow I've been doing it all wrong, apparently though I have no desire to change hahaha. When dragged into conflict, I tend to brazenly insult the one unfortunate enough to engage me in conflict. For example, when my husband's sister tried to convince him not to go after custody of his daughter because he's made mistakes in the past, I interjected and asked if she should not be allowed to live with her mom because of HER past mistakes (and said some of them out loud)...and incidentally because it was over the phone, it caused their mom to expose herself as being present in the room for the conversation after his sister said previously that she wasn't there. It was not appreciated and I do believe it made them not want to have that conversation with him ever again.

    Lisa SimpsonLisa Simpson4 måneder siden
    • @MasterTalk Well I'm touched by how nice your comment is. I admit I'm a bit jealous at how masterfully Jon Stewart handles the opposition when he argues but I'm definitely touchy when it comes to defending my stance especially when it comes to those I love.

      Lisa SimpsonLisa Simpson4 måneder siden
    • Such a beautiful and thoughtful comment Lisa, thanks for sharing with us. I appreciate your openness to discuss, thanks for what you do for others.

      MasterTalkMasterTalk4 måneder siden
  • that scrawny voice in the beggining of the video(can t go past 2 sec) which i assume is the author' certainly inspires a lot of safety and security and confrontational decisiviness haha i bet the testosterone is running through his glasses and online courses about "confidence" "how to be an alpha" "how to be attractive" etc etc

    tdrx y28ztdrx y28z4 måneder siden
  • Yeah but this certainly doesn't work when people definitely will make fun of you if you call them out or exit.

    LucendoLucendo4 måneder siden
  • Do it back suitability wach em loose it.

    canary 002canary 0024 måneder siden

    Jacob McjunkinJacob Mcjunkin4 måneder siden
  • Who else is watching this before a family reunion a show oh hands ✋

    squa-squa the dragonsqua-squa the dragon4 måneder siden
  • Excellent

    Dr Alex Vasquez ICHNFMDr Alex Vasquez ICHNFM4 måneder siden
  • Leer, Scary Face... Hm

    DethosDethos4 måneder siden
  • You should make video on Indiana Jones.

    AYUSH KUMARAYUSH KUMAR4 måneder siden
  • You should do one on the queens gambit, it would be awesomeee

    Maria MendesMaria Mendes4 måneder siden
  • Can we get an analysis of Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series?

    Emmett BurnsEmmett Burns4 måneder siden
  • Thanks, I need this for dealing with trolls in the NOworld comment section.

    PedophilePedophile4 måneder siden
    • same

      Shreenath GaudaShreenath Gauda4 måneder siden
  • If you need a video on how to stand up for yourself then you are a certified beta male.

    SSJAlphaSSJAlpha4 måneder siden
  • i cant stand up for myself, my mommy comes and defends me in conflicts like a good mommy

    DerMenschIstWeilEsGlaubtDassEsIstDerMenschIstWeilEsGlaubtDassEsIst4 måneder siden
  • Some situations call for the N.I.C.E. method, others call for a smack to face. It will depend on the situation.

    cartoonclimaxcartoonclimax4 måneder siden
  • THIS DUDES COURSE IS FAKE. HE HAD ONE BEFORE BUT IT WAS A SCAN SO HE MADE A NEW ONE ALSO HE’S A MISOGYNIST!!! seriously though how do people not know this or do they not care......?

    lilmillilmil4 måneder siden
    • Why is he a mysoginist bud? Everyone is accused of being something these days

      Fire PitchFire Pitch4 måneder siden
  • Love your content! 🤍

    InkBytesInkBytes4 måneder siden
  • Could you do Tom Hardy please?

    cameron wardcameron ward4 måneder siden
  • Punching people works too.

    Epstein DidntkillhimselfEpstein Didntkillhimself4 måneder siden
  • great vid

    Nikolay BelorusovNikolay Belorusov4 måneder siden
  • sometimes conflict is so much in your face simply ignoring the issue becomes impossible

    Nikolay BelorusovNikolay Belorusov4 måneder siden
  • I wish you could do some videos on “Ted Lasso” tv show. I think it is one of the best tv shows recently that explores themes of leadership and communication in workplace and life in general. Thanks for you work!

    Pavel ShirochkinPavel Shirochkin4 måneder siden
  • I've been watching so many of these, feeling like I'm learning to be a normal person, but quarantine doesn't let me use what I learned from these videos.

    Hobbes120Hobbes1204 måneder siden
  • Great Video. Could you link the Downey Video? (This whole interview seems like a "what not to do if you want to make friends")

    Johannes DolchJohannes Dolch4 måneder siden
  • I think he did come off as a bit of a jerk.

    Will SrWill Sr4 måneder siden
    • Who?

      Fire PitchFire Pitch4 måneder siden
  • To be fair Robert had a right to exit this reporter was making him feel really uncomfortable and was asking about a time in his life he deeply regrets

    Saimah PatelSaimah Patel4 måneder siden
  • Yep best to pay attention to the one you're speaking to ;)

    Andrew ChristiansonAndrew Christianson4 måneder siden
  • Hey I know its odd but you should do a video on Corpse Husband and how he just seems to get everyone to simp for him lol

    TayvexTayvex4 måneder siden
  • I've been inspired to make a brand new channel about vibration, thought, religion and spirit. I think you might be interested in this.

    Methuselah EisnerMethuselah Eisner4 måneder siden
  • How would you amend those tips to apply to today's pandemic situation, which makes us increasingly work from home? There are sometimes passive-aggressive behaviors and remarks from co-workers in online meetings, and also in chats. Unfortunately, it is impossible to use step *1. Nonverbally warn them to stop*. Should one just jump to step 2? Or maybe handle that in a whole different way? Suggestion: a video about how to communicate effectively in an online environment (not only about how to handle passive-aggressiveness online) would be much appreciated!

    MentionMention4 måneder siden
  • To me this just looks like answering passive aggressive behavior with passive aggressive behavior. Why not just say clearly what you want instead of giving small signs. It might make the conversation awkward for a second or two but after that you can just move on.

    Wimpie BaarsWimpie Baars4 måneder siden