How To Stop Chasing Things That Make You Miserable

28. sep.. 2019
181 390 Ganger

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In this clip from The Charlie & Ben Podcast, the guys answer the question “How do I stop valuing things that make me unhappy?” Putting value in things such as money and prestige can be self sabotaging, but Charlie & Ben give their advice for changing your mindset and increasing your likelihood of happiness and success.

Connect With Us Further:
Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand
Or if you want to see our personal stuff (regular life + playing music):
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

  • Hey Guys! I hope you enjoyed this clip from the podcast. I saw in the comments that you guys were wondering the book I was referencing, it's called "The Four Hour Workweek" by Tim Ferris. See you on Monday :-)

    Charisma on CommandCharisma on CommandÅr siden
    • I just finished it and it was life changing. I didn't know you guys read it!

      Rachel LinRachel LinÅr siden
    • Charisma on Command do you have a twin brother?

      Natan titelbaumNatan titelbaumÅr siden
    • Unrelated to the video but i need to ask this. Charlie im on this situation and would like to get your advice, there is a girl that i see often at the bus stop, its been some months since she started waiting for it at this stop. I find her attractive but i dont know how to approach her, sometimes i think of just going to her and introducing myself and just asking if she would like to go for a coffee sometime. Am i wrong in wanting to approach that way?, please need your help, thanks.

      JAGQJAGQÅr siden
    • Where’s the link for the video you mentioned that was called how to stop self sabotaging? I looked but can’t find it?

      moduslivemodusliveÅr siden
    • Hello, I have a proposal and I think you would really like it, can you discuss about why many ppl love ariana grande? I think many would find it very interesting :)))

      Pikachu CharizardPikachu CharizardÅr siden
  • OMG i'm not quite a model, but I need attentiion. It must be rough looking like this guy....................................................

    jsh0822jsh08222 måneder siden
  • If you weigh everythings value and importance based on how they might make you unhappy in future you dont value what the positive things gained from the moment. And the reverse is true as well. It really doesn't matter if a cup is full, half full or completely empty (because a cup is refillable as long as you accept that every refill might not be favorable in all respects. But you can empty the cup and fill it again).

    Winter Wolf's Lunar AffinityWinter Wolf's Lunar Affinity4 måneder siden
  • Charlie you look very cute 😍 when you smile 😍 😊😊😊

    Amrita HoreAmrita Hore6 måneder siden
  • Damn! I thought these guys were pretty good but then my boy nailed it with, “There’s a big difference between zero and one”!

    Michael MooreMichael Moore7 måneder siden
  • What book did you read?

    Saul WilliamSaul William9 måneder siden
  • I wouldn't mind some prestige if it can be monetized/used for brands sponsorships. That's the only reason I'd want it. Fame that doesn't pay is just extra stress!!!

    IqueyIquey9 måneder siden
  • My friend there are many things I could say about you. But the best thing I could say is thank you.Ever since I found out about your channel I am able to see things more clearly and from a different perspective. If you could find any spare time please create a video about Toxic Relationships. Keep up with all this great work

    Putang Pie1999Putang Pie19999 måneder siden
  • I am so impressed you are talking about this. I avoided your You tube channel because I thought you'd be about the opposite. I just told a friend for my New Year's goal is I want to start living from my heart and she was like.. "huuuh?" So I told her never mind. I have no New years goals.

    Imelda PearImelda Pear9 måneder siden
  • I misheard "If you want to debate with us" as "If you wanted to bake with us" xD

    SellingDollySellingDolly10 måneder siden
  • I'm amazed at how much value your channel has provided me, and that you can still come up with awesome new content like this. You guys are modern geniuses, -- it's not easy to translate intuiton/instinct/experience into something teachable.

    Himmat ChahalHimmat Chahal11 måneder siden
  • We are number One. All others are number two, or lower. . . the Sphinx, "Mystery Men'

    Sergio AlcantarSergio Alcantar11 måneder siden
  • For me it’s the opposite...I don’t value money or possessions but I’m forced to. I don’t want fame I just want to be. I feel trapped

    Mystic MeowMystic Meow11 måneder siden
  • Step 1.) Read "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens...jk this is all great advise but classic literature can be helpful.

    Adam CostillaAdam CostillaÅr siden
  • Thanks.

    SevenDeMagnusSevenDeMagnusÅr siden
  • Barren maddening to check out the pod cast and this definitely seals the deal. You guys always plant an empowering seed in my mind

    Eric StokelyEric StokelyÅr siden
  • I wanna see more like this, yes!

    Шломо ИзяновШломо ИзяновÅr siden
  • Dr Phil has said the only way to eliminate a habit is to replace it with an incompatible habit. Got any good examples, or maybe interest in creating content regarding this idea?

    AnnoyingWeaselAnnoyingWeaselÅr siden
  • I love the 0 and 1 way of looking at it. And the home base. That was really useful. Thank you! :D

    AskaAskaÅr siden
  • The answer is hypnotherapy. They can cure this and other addictions such as smoking in 1-3 sessions. Extraordinarily powerful tool.

    E AE AÅr siden
  • You are so genuine! I love your advice

    Paige HeartlyPaige HeartlyÅr siden
  • Man your right sleeve in the podcast triggered me hard. What can I do about that? :D

    Der Dude mit dem HutDer Dude mit dem HutÅr siden
  • A deep desire to elevate your self worth at almost any cost. Lets call it what it really is. Ego driven self centered brat.

    LeoLeoÅr siden
  • he's talking about ayahuasca and he's got the same mics as Joe Rogan experience

    Tate WinterTate WinterÅr siden
  • Easy, I have NO friends.

    KastaRulesKastaRulesÅr siden
  • loved it

    Flashy VictorFlashy VictorÅr siden
  • I will never indulge in the Nasuverse again!

    Artie RupinenArtie RupinenÅr siden
  • Okay well if we’re talking about what society thinks an alcoholic is, somebody who drinks regularly or just every weekend and doesn’t like to socialize on free time without getting a bit of a buzz on, then that’s me and a lot of people. But that’s different from the alcoholic that has a REAL problem. A person who can’t go a day without drinking. THOSE are the types that “shouldn’t hangout in bars”. For the regular “alcoholics” that I first defined, it’s not really an issue.... just sayin 🙂

    Chase PotterChase PotterÅr siden
  • Do Andrew Yang!

    MonkizakiMonkizakiÅr siden
  • Great vid loved it

    nihhahnihhahÅr siden
  • Women make me miserable. But I need a woman D:

    CabbageGamerCabbageGamerÅr siden
  • I don't have Instagram, I don't need validation, I don't feel lonely when I am alone. Does that make me schizophrenic or does that make me mentally healthy?

    TereTereÅr siden
  • You should do a video on Greg Plitt. If you don’t know who he is... or was. You should.

    Zach ScheererZach ScheererÅr siden
  • oh man I liked the video but there were many interruptions...

    Daniel CendejasDaniel CendejasÅr siden
  • This 30 yr old white boy helping me change my life for good

    Veronica GVeronica GÅr siden
  • Host talks about not valuing prestige; goes on to list all his prestigious accomplishments.

    Aragorn ElessarAragorn ElessarÅr siden
  • Great!

    Giulyan GonçalvesGiulyan GonçalvesÅr siden
  • This was amazing. So real. Thanks

    David CarterDavid CarterÅr siden
  • what book did Ben read that helped him with prestige?

    Miguel MaquiranMiguel MaquiranÅr siden
  • Status, money, and popularity make me happy. I want to be like one of the characters from Gossip Girls

    SSÅr siden
  • Could you make a video on beauty standards and beauty obsession? I mean .. how to cope if you compare yourself to others contantly and are afraid of getting old/losing shape etc. You know, body confidence :)

    Nox NekoriNox NekoriÅr siden
  • No, I refuse to stop making myself miserable because I deserve it

    You Know Who I AmYou Know Who I AmÅr siden
  • OMG that's harry potter!

    MD SajediMD SajediÅr siden
  • what?? in brazil?? outrageous

    Larissa CarvalhoLarissa CarvalhoÅr siden
  • This isn't charisma

    Ethan AndersonEthan AndersonÅr siden
  • Great video, but I would like to add that having schizophrenia does not equate to being "crazy." Much love

    CristinaCristinaÅr siden
  • *Wow this man has the longest eyebrows I've seen*

    Business Online 101Business Online 101År siden
  • Wow, such a different, genuine impression from Ben. To be honest for the past couple of videos he made, I always had a fake vibe from him, like he was forcing himself to smile more than he is used to and/or be more enthusiastic. I was even distracted at times from the topic itself. But in this video he just seems so calm and sincere, kinda wish he would come back to film. Anyway guys, thanks for the great content as always and keep up the good work! :)

    A NA NÅr siden
  • thank you, just in the right time :)

    geralt riviageralt riviaÅr siden
  • This whole channel profiteers off of incels and autists who have no social skills and try to pretend that they do by watching these vids.

    RasRasÅr siden
  • Give us more!!!

    5am5amÅr siden
  • I want to know what book he read that he says changed his paradigm.

    JerathaiJerathaiÅr siden
  • Just a thing, volume was a bit low at max

    angerock49angerock49År siden
  • Hey. Love these clips. Would love to consume on a daily basis, but if I’m honest I like to just listen to audio over a video. Do you have your vids in audio format anywhere mate?

    Alfie ThomasAlfie ThomasÅr siden
  • Hey Charisma of Command, my favorite videos are when you break it with down movie characters ... Cristiano Ronaldo recently scored an interview with NOworldr, ChrisMD! xD I’ve recently an read article stating people speaking a foreign language are less likely to lie I think if CR7 is an interesting guy and I feel like your huge audience would enjoy a charisma on command break down of a world famous athlete! Cheers, belli. -ps, Bryce is nice

    Bryce EllisBryce EllisÅr siden
  • i hope you do a video about cliff booth. that character is the true, man

    LeonLeonÅr siden
  • More podcast snippets on this channel would be welcomed!

    Ariel LasryAriel LasryÅr siden
  • Any place to write to you directly!

    Umair RazaUmair RazaÅr siden
  • I am down for seeing more of the podcast!

    CaseyCaseyÅr siden
  • I loves these podcasts, that's more content and any content from c on c is good content

    MeatBallBoy23MeatBallBoy23År siden
  • 3:24 Home Improvement

    Inge niousInge niousÅr siden
  • I don't think there's anything wrong with being prestige hungry. As long as you can achieve your set goals, all should be fine. Just note that if you're not competent or lucky enough, disappointment always lurks down the corner.

    Sagacious EagleSagacious EagleÅr siden
  • Charlie you are my crush! lol

    MycaMycaÅr siden
  • Loved that you included the podcast section in the video! Very cool and relaxed way to share your message 😊

    tatttoo101tatttoo101År siden
  • Lay off the Jordan Peterson crap and you're good.

    Matheus TMatheus TÅr siden
  • This is great. I've been very open to a broad range of social groups, but it's time I rediscover a specific "home base tribe" for me

    Anthony PCAnthony PCÅr siden
  • I like the information, however dislike the looser format the conversational approach necessitates. The tighter format of a more produced piece is more informative for me.

    Peter MangerPeter MangerÅr siden
  • i should stop being so lazy, and stop using my phone so goddamn much

    Kawien ChoiKawien ChoiÅr siden
  • 2:15 5 minutes of youtube and 0 minutes of youtube are very different things 1 piece of cake and 0 pieces of cakes are very different things.

    SunsetSunsetÅr siden

    Whimzy74Whimzy74År siden
  • I agree with some of this, but I would not say that all the good things people post are for looking to get attention. Some people do it to inspire others or promote what worked for them

    Jes smith732Jes smith732År siden
  • This is totally off-topic but you really look like Connor / Bryan Dechart.

    NirriniNirriniÅr siden
  • True and worthy change in Christ only.

    DovarDovarÅr siden
  • I am so suicidal, I have been trying to find a friend that won't hurt me. I've been in therapy and on medication for over 15 years, and I still can't find a single person that is genuine. So should I give up and not bother wanting friends? Because wanting friends makes me miserable and being hurt by people that say they are my friends but don't really care about my well being makes me hurt even more. But a key part of life is feeling like you belong and having social interactions. So I feel stuck in a loop of misery. Suicide feels like my only safe place. I don't know how to break the cycle.

    KrinchiDKrinchiDÅr siden
  • I love you guys, but I can’t BELIEVE you needed to make this video. People are so f-ing narcissistic that you actually need to make this, is so depressing.

    Eh. Okay :-\Eh. Okay :-\År siden
  • Oh this is genius. Promoting here is a great idea.

    MajorasMaskMailmanMajorasMaskMailmanÅr siden
  • Do a video on Aurora! She's a musical artist/vocalist who has a ton of charisma and genuine spirit! Her interviews are so fun to watch and I think your audience would benefit from a video about her. :)

    Jamie Rain - RedflufflykinsJamie Rain - RedflufflykinsÅr siden
  • Love your channel guys, but maybe try to change up your thumbnails, they all kinda look the same and I nearly skipped this one because I thought I already saw it...

    Louise butterLouise butterÅr siden
  • You guys are on your path, but need to do so much more to get a deeper understanding. It's not money or prestige or smth that makes you unhappy, it's 100% you. Take responsibility, and go deeper. Ask yourself "why" until you get to the bottom.

    Andrej The FreelancerAndrej The FreelancerÅr siden
  • You're just a snake oil salesman. I reached out to you a few months ago to ask if you could let me try your Charisma on Command Course for free. Given that I suffer from major depression, I'm out of work and with small kids, I could have used your help to improve my life. The thing is, I would have repaid you to the last cent. All I got from you was a cold "No." So, I'm sorry, You don't really care about people. You're just there to make some quick bucks. So stop pretending.

    vitaly agalyavitaly agalyaÅr siden
  • Seeing Charlie interact with people really makes you realize how qualified he is to teach charisma!

    Radio RainRadio RainÅr siden
  • I guess Charlie is out of clickbait ideas. Looks like we're stuck with "STOP DOING THIS" 😂

    Jack EmmonsJack EmmonsÅr siden
  • Hey Charlie, random question: Where do you get your t-shirts from? I have a similar build and I can never find t-shirts that fit as well as yours do.

    Nelson GastNelson GastÅr siden
  • how does he just talk for minutes at a time so effortlessly

    Aid-BOAid-BOÅr siden
    • He knows the stuff he's talking about...

      ŞfkŞfk3 måneder siden
  • “to feel like they’re not schizophrenic and crazy” 😪

    Maddie McCrackinMaddie McCrackinÅr siden
  • The guy kept interrupting you dude.

    Valerie VedetteValerie VedetteÅr siden
  • You look like professor X in the thumbnail

    Jake n' AdoJake n' AdoÅr siden
  • This felt like ‘True self on command’. Some profound remarks were made that hit home. Good one!

    micoomsmicoomsÅr siden
  • If you stop desiring ALL things you will free yourself to be.

    SymontheWhiteSymontheWhiteÅr siden
  • why is prestige so bad? many extremely successful people can stay true to themselves and have prestigious status and fulfilling jobs. also, using social media to connect with others and find like minded people can be extremely useful. many of the people they do videos on have become successful by building their platform and brand on social media. i love their advice, but i feel like they are way too hard on things perceived as validation seeking like prestige and social media. true, validation seeking and social media can become an unhealthy addiction, but it doesn't have to be. there should be a balance rather than cutting it all out.

    Frank SanchezFrank SanchezÅr siden
  • I really thought Charlie was the guy in that VPN ad... The one where the mom sees the search history.

    LagiNaLangAko23LagiNaLangAko23År siden
  • So, great advice but the solution is always the same. Change your mindset. These videos are great for giving people specific skills that they may not have, but it always comes down to mindset. If you constantly think negative and self-defeating thoughts, you will always fail to maximize your potential. Cognitive-behavior therapy teaches people how to change their thoughts ad behaviors to increase well-being no matter what the issue. If you try to solve problems issue by issue it will take you forever. the more elegant solution is to deeply change your mindset and this will help you deal with almost any situation. Sabotaging yourself? - change your mindset. Chasing after things that hurt you? - change your mindset. Trouble finding a good relationship? - change your mindset. Not happy in your career? - change your mindset. Need specific skills? Read books or watch these type of videos. Want change that crosses all areas of life? Use cognitive-behavioral techniques.

    Real Life Counseling - Michael Zone, LCSW, MEd, JDReal Life Counseling - Michael Zone, LCSW, MEd, JDÅr siden
  • 6:39 What Exercises?

    Giddy DigsGiddy DigsÅr siden
  • prestige = codependency = seeking the opinions of others for how you should feel.

    John TaJohn TaÅr siden
  • Been watching for a while, seems like good info... still waiting to care enough to do something about it 🤔 Keep doing what u do 🙌

    busaj383busaj383År siden
  • I really like this podcast type of format!

    Ričards ZaļmežsRičards ZaļmežsÅr siden
  • How do you do the same for love/ false feelings.

    PsYcOdPsYcOdÅr siden
  • I think the ultimate cure is to stop associating being miserable with pleasure. We naturally move towards pleasure and move away from pain. So if you associate misery with pleasure, you will move towards misery. You have to teach your brain to not feel pleasure at the thing that makes you miserable and replace it what you know will give you pleasure eventually. The act of replacing will, eventually, stop the chasing.

    Ebby CEbby CÅr siden
  • 3.2mm suscribers? U guys are amazing

    lovethechoplovethechopÅr siden
  • I sometimes wonder why i am subscribed to this channel because usually im not into the self help, empowerment sort of stuff. But then i watch a video and i remember that you actually have very good insights. So thanks! Great stuff!

    sarepaarsarepaarÅr siden