How To Turn Small Talk Into An Amazing Conversation

1. mars. 2021
268 633 Ganger

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Small talk can be a drag - but it’s possible to turn those boring everyday conversations into a meaningful ones where you learn about and really connect with people.
That’s why in this video we’ll explore what you can learn from some of the best conversationalists of our era about moving from small talk to deep connection so you never worry about being boring.

0:00 - Intro.
0:17 - #1: Let people know that you're happy to speak with them.
1:59 - #2: Steer towards deeper conversational contexts.
3:01 - #3: Use "parroting".
3:59 - #4: Advocate for things people are ashamed to have felt or done.
5:25 - #5: Pause to acknowledge vulnerability and courage.
6:14 - #6: Reveal your own vulnerabilities and unflattering truths.

#JoeRogan #HowardStern #CharismaOnCommand

Connect with us further:
Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand
Or if you want to see our personal stuff:
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

  • That last point is a big reason why I find most Christians really easy to talk to. They continually self reflect on their own flaws so they easily do most of the points made in this video.

    Eddy GarciaEddy Garcia6 timer siden
  • Doesn't work with people who overshare. They take away all the "broadcast" time to talk about themselves and their most intimate stuff. Usually during the first (!) tete-a-tete talk. Feels like they see other people as just props in their self-centered life-drama.

    PolySomethingPolySomething3 dager siden
  • Hey guys, just to let you know I'll be keeping my low charisma so that one more person can shine. After all, if everyone's charismatic - no one is.

    hannesRSAhannesRSA3 dager siden
  • Haha I lived in my shadow. I didn’t see the light until I was a man.

    JoelJoel3 dager siden
  • It may work but even in these clips Joe often comes across not entirely genuine.

    MylesMyles5 dager siden
  • 8:16 i been tryin to wrestle and chain that bastard ngl

    growingoaks productionsgrowingoaks productions5 dager siden
  • Thank you for these valuable insights!

    Linda SLinda S6 dager siden
  • So where's that couple masturbation therapy group clip at 8:47 from?

    xzyxzy10 dager siden
  • 5:14 That was a good transition 👌🏾

    Blender BeatsBlender Beats11 dager siden
  • Damn. Freaking therapy session here.

    Nathan GilmerNathan Gilmer18 dager siden
  • Yo what is happening at 8:46

    David GavinDavid Gavin19 dager siden
  • TIL people actually love Jimmy Kimmel. Excuse me while I throw up.

    AdamAdam24 dager siden
  • Me: hey Crush : hi Me: how r u Crush : I am go- Me: I love u btw Crush👁👄👁

    real zhellareal zhella28 dager siden
  • 1. Always tell people you are happy to see them /speak to them 2. Steer towards deeper topics - emotions/values/motivation - ask how they felt when something happened 3. Repeat last 1-3 words to actively listen 4. Defend them if they reveal something they feel ashamed/embarrassed/guilty about 5. Acknowledge their courage and vulnerability 6. Reveal your own vulnerabilities and unflattering truths - be in touch with yourself The 7 levels of intimacy How to gain friends and influence people How to get people to like you in 90 seconds

    Tushar RoyTushar RoyMåned siden
  • I watch these videos to learn how to interact with people. Not even joking.

    Paul CaridiPaul CaridiMåned siden
  • 8:47 - Shadow work ha?

    SupeHero00SupeHero00Måned siden
  • 4:28 When people open up and talk about their darkness they want you to preserve their dignity by not showing that you’re turned off by them opening up.

    SimonneSimonneMåned siden
  • Damn this video hit me deep, love this video one of the best on youtube

    Krithik SinghKrithik SinghMåned siden
  • I used to like this channel, learnes a lot from you guys. After 4 times of the f-bomb in one video, I will not be back. Sad that you would stoop to such a level.

    a country gala country galMåned siden
    • Hahaha

  • Omg...,. This got way more deep... Than the title led me to believe

    Shreyas ShankerShreyas ShankerMåned siden
  • Good tips! I feel like I'm great at cutting small talk and creating a meaningful conversation out of it because I hate superficiality lol but I still learned a lot with this video. Thumbs up 👍

    Emily NEmily NMåned siden
  • Can we appreciate how he explains what we should learn from the video and what we should know. Literally

    Ngun MangNgun MangMåned siden
  • Reminds me of what they teach you in acting class. Focus more on being interested than being interesting. The more interested you become in other people AND the world around you (like seeing the beauty/absurdity in those little “meaningless” moments in life) the more interesting you naturally become.

    anafloweranaflowerMåned siden
  • Analyse Rupaul!

    Barney MortBarney MortMåned siden
  • Someone talking to me walks into a pole. Me: "thank you for your courage"

    DacommentaDacommentaMåned siden
  • 1:25 man, I would hate to be on this guys podcast

    Thomas BeaumontThomas BeaumontMåned siden
  • openin

    EagleT VlogsEagleT VlogsMåned siden
  • I used to be really embarrassed about having crushes who ended up being jerks, but now I would openly admit it to anyone. Be friends with your shadow!

    LoveY'allDarlingsLoveY'allDarlingsMåned siden
  • Just hit a gold pot! Thank you for this! I really needed this since I’m socializing more often now!

    CalCalMåned siden
  • If you really want to connect to someone, show vulnerability, if I could give anyone, one single bit of insight on how to connect to others, it would be that. Show the person you are willing to open yourself to possible humiliation and they will usually reciprocate

    Majik MessiahMajik MessiahMåned siden
  • I didn't learn anything.

    James Jameson GreyJames Jameson GreyMåned siden
  • Winners win because they are afraid of what might happen if they fail...TRIBE of MENTORS

  • What did it make you feel?

    KingRichTvKingRichTvMåned siden
  • His advice is to ask people what they do for work? Thats literally what everyone does lol

    Ely VenkusEly VenkusMåned siden
  • The obeisant vase commercially disagree because year arthroscopically bang beneath a decisive freon. flawless, domineering development

    Hawi ConradoHawi ConradoMåned siden
  • Point of order: outside of physical contact, screaming and believable threats, events, things and people don't "make" anyone feel anything. It is our judgments, beliefs about what happens that causes our emotions: consider a football game. Hundreds to billions see the exact same game. Yet about half go home happy, about half go home sad, and the rest go home somewhere in between or at the extremes. While they all claim the game caused whichever emotion, since there is such a spectrum about the exact, same game, that can't be true. It was their beliefs about it - that what these strangers did in a kid's game had something to do with their self-worth. Do insults "make you mad"? How can a little hot air make you feel or do anything? It is your belief that it is horrible that someone said something derogatory about you. If you further believe you "must" do something about it, you will be angry, possibly do dangerous things, get into trouble. If you believe you can't, you will be somewhere between sad and depressed. Read Dr Albert Ellis, the originator of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, voted most influential living psychotherapist by APA, over 50 books. His methods evolved over his 70 years from classic Freud type to the emotion-belief connection (central, most important point). He added behaviorism methods, and finally Unconditional Acceptance of Self (UAS) , Others (UAO) and the Universe (UAU) and its contents. That does not mean endorsement of everything. My modified serenity poem tries to point out the difference: May I have the strength to change the Important things I CAN change, the patience to bear the important things I cannot change, as well as all those "terribly" irritating, unimportant ones (like insults and lost loves), and the wisdom to enjoy the difference."

    Jimmy WalterJimmy WalterMåned siden
  • Wait. Cool aloof guy cannot accept vulnerabilities of others. People tell me their feelings a lot. Does this mean I’m not cool? Lol jk. Im sensitive and have empathy for others idk how it shows though. I feel like we’re all animals perceiving different ranges of depth and boundaries. Softness and coldness. I think either way just try your best to be yourself. When I meditate & re open my eyes I try to see everything for the first time as much as I can. Like a kid would your perception grows & you can connect deeper I swear

    Katie •Katie •Måned siden
  • Parroting the last thing they said so they expand

    Sidra KamalSidra KamalMåned siden
  • After miserable failure to keep my cool in a job with a truly ridiculous corporation, I’m going to a new job armed with some real tools to help me navigate without losing patience and composure. Thanks so much for your videos.

    Brenda KBrenda KMåned siden
  • Thanks to this channel I will be a beast on popular talk shows and interviews.

    ListenchumpListenchumpMåned siden
  • This channel is great for learning social skills you've never had an idea were a thing. HOWEVER, You won't learn anything in front of a screen. The only way for you to acquire those skills is by throwing yourself into deep water and doing it yourself. Get your sh*t together and do it yourself with an open mindset and you'll see how efficiently you become the "better you". NOworld won't help you. Only you can do it. It's never too late. Head up, you got it!

    Błażej OrdonBłażej OrdonMåned siden
  • She probably has a website or something what else do not girls have 🥴🤦🏽‍♂️😤

    Alana RayAlana RayMåned siden
  • i don't know, I get very annoyed if people constantly repeat my last words. i know what I said, stop echoing back to me, say your own thoughts

    svnelvnsvnelvnMåned siden
  • I’ve learned a lot from all these videos. If I ever get invited to any social event I’ll be ready

    Nolan WardNolan Ward2 måneder siden
  • What was that round table with Sandler, Deniro, Foxx, and Lebouf?

    Zach MortonZach Morton2 måneder siden
  • That dude who didn't know Sofia Vergara sounds like such a douche. At least at that moment he did.

    VampressVampress2 måneder siden
  • These tricks never work in real Life..... It is very persuasive to show your theory as fact by explaining the fact in your favour!!!

    ॐ कारॐ कार2 måneder siden
  • Please make one on MeGain Markel.

    CrystalCrystal2 måneder siden
  • Hello, I just want to tell the admin of this channel that there is a channel that stole your videos and make them in Arabic without mention that the idea and the video from your channel it’s name is كاريزما بالعربي I know you don’t know what’s that mean but that’s it’s name.

    Sadik200221Sadik2002212 måneder siden
  • Hey Charlie, could you please do Christopher Hitchens ?

    Alan BernsteinAlan Bernstein2 måneder siden
  • But how can we tell others we appreciate them if we don’t know them..?

    M HadM Had2 måneder siden
  • Thank you for your wonderful work ! Bless you

    Rehan AllahwalaRehan Allahwala2 måneder siden
  • Plz, analyze the video "David Bowie Criticizes MTV for Not Playing Videos by Black Artists" Bowie conducting the Interview with class, pointing the right questions to disarm the interviewer

    Gustavo SimioneGustavo Simione2 måneder siden
  • Whoever runs this channel I LOVE YOU ❤

    ChoppaChoppa2 måneder siden
  • This is absolutely one of my favorite NOworld channels it is so informative and I try to tell everyone about it that mentions feeling awkward for struggling to communicate

    Meaghan PikeMeaghan Pike2 måneder siden
  • Charisma Breakdown: Present like STEVE JOBS

    vansh agrawalvansh agrawal2 måneder siden
  • Do john smith from man in the high castle

    Raven LamRaven Lam2 måneder siden
  • I think why so many of us struggle with conversation is because the topics that we actually want to talk about are considered taboo. So we try to play it safe by asking each other questions that get us nowhere. Why can't we just talk about whatever at any time? What's the worst that can happen? Somebody not agreeing?

    Naila KamanaNaila Kamana2 måneder siden
  • I found it. I finally found my personality. I've watched so many of your videos from the chris's to aubrey. This is the one that feels like implementing the skills isn't me being someone I'm not. I don't have a shadow I'm in touch with, my shadow is me.

    Nomadic ThinkerNomadic Thinker2 måneder siden
  • Does this only works in the US culture?

    HaveANiceDayHaveANiceDay2 måneder siden
  • I really need a video focused on work occasions!

    Amira's perspectiveAmira's perspective2 måneder siden
  • Hi, Charlie! I admire one women and want to be like her. What should I do? Is it a good idea to ask her how did she become so awesome? Or is it better to analyse what she’s doing to be so good by myself?

    Захар СеливановЗахар Селиванов2 måneder siden
  • Damn this turned into a whole moral lesson

    Vanessa NoujaimVanessa Noujaim2 måneder siden
  • The cynical opera notablely suffer because advice frequently lie sans a fortunate hand. historical, loose network

    hivek mosathivek mosat2 måneder siden
  • Your NOworld channel is so Valuable to us

    GreenJuiceEditzGreenJuiceEditz2 måneder siden
  • Make a video about how to be like lucifer

    KASHiii OPKASHiii OP2 måneder siden
  • Great tips, definitely needed to hear some of these

    MindoozeMindooze2 måneder siden
  • Seems like the entire theme of this channel is "If you want to be liked and successful, be a well liked and successful celebrity!" This is the kind of messaging that leads some to suicide, just saying...

    bébé cheesesbébé cheeses2 måneder siden
  • I remember when the shadow of myself almost ruined my life and i stumbled upon a 17 minute video i think which talks about integrating the shadow of urself which saved me. So thank u charlie for that. I think the video was about ayahuasca

    Buried BlessmanBuried Blessman2 måneder siden
  • “Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭3:12‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭3:23‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭6:23‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭10:13‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    Kurt WagnerKurt Wagner2 måneder siden
  • Your channel is simply amazing. You do such good work and have incredible insight.

    Certek Heat Machines Inc.Certek Heat Machines Inc.2 måneder siden
  • I try to be nice and treat others with with respect and dignity. I also don't much give a damn if they like me or not. In a nutshell, problem solved.

    kelly walkerkelly walker2 måneder siden
  • Vince Vaugh next! The most charismatic person in Hollywood.

    MaceMace2 måneder siden
  • Thanks for this video! Small talk is indeed important, not only can help us make a good first impression, it also can lead to a lasting relationship.

    Almudena BerzosaAlmudena Berzosa2 måneder siden
  • DAYUM! Somebody upped their editing game

    Throughout the WorldThroughout the World2 måneder siden
  • Can I have an issue about Michael Corleone?

    OverLineOverLine2 måneder siden
  • Blake Shelton

    Siddharth BrahmaSiddharth Brahma2 måneder siden
  • Do a video on BLAKE SHELTON.

    Siddharth BrahmaSiddharth Brahma2 måneder siden
  • Would love to see a breakdown of Dona Paulsen from suits!

    Austin JohnsonAustin Johnson2 måneder siden
  • For anyone that is already enrolled in CU: At the moment, just watching these free NOworld videos are doing plenty for me. I'm really interested in joining CU, but I feel like with all these covid restrictions, it's not the ideal time to enroll in the course. Do any of you agree that I should wait until everything gets better and i'm able to see more people, or should I just go for the membership right now?

    cetycon 26cetycon 262 måneder siden
  • Quite Interesting

    The Creamy OneThe Creamy One2 måneder siden
  • Please do a video on 13 reasons why characters

    Arindam MishraArindam Mishra2 måneder siden
  • Sean Evans from Hot Ones would be a great subject for a charisma breakdown because he asks such great and engaging questions!

    Vagabond MorrisonVagabond Morrison2 måneder siden
  • Hey there! Could you do a charisma analysis of Princess Diana? I find her such an interesting example because she was considered an incredibly charismatic person, but she also displayed a lot of behaviours that show insecurity. How was she so charismatic while also being insecure? I think this would make for an interesting video!

    FridaberFridaber2 måneder siden
  • * Laughs in Swedish *

    Edvin Nyrenström AnderssonEdvin Nyrenström Andersson2 måneder siden
  • Be bold?

    R.a.w WoodR.a.w Wood2 måneder siden
  • We not gonna acknowledge that Joe Rogan's been at his new studio for months and the video said that the clip was recent when it clearly showed joe Rogan's old studio which hasn't been filmed in for months 🤔

  • Can you do a video using Wesley snipes?

    More positivityMore positivity2 måneder siden
  • You did not connect with Wolf of the Wall Street, he called you nazi. You looked awkward, all this knowledge for nothing.

    Kriszt MKriszt M2 måneder siden
  • Totally off-topic but grate editing :D

    Tanya HaralsonTanya Haralson2 måneder siden
  • Chandler Bing breakdown??

    Deepesh GargDeepesh Garg2 måneder siden
  • Dude..this guy rogan is like 5'2..and his camera angle makes him look like hes 6'8 😆

    Doc DDoc D2 måneder siden
  • Man please analyse the charismatic personality of Steve Harvey in your next video.

    Pranav DeshpandePranav Deshpande2 måneder siden
  • I LOVE CU, Hi from Brazil 😂

    Fabio CamargoFabio Camargo2 måneder siden
  • Charisma On Command could you do Hannibal Buress analysis? I do find him very interesting and most above all he’s funny! I would really appreciate it :)

    Juhaan JungJuhaan Jung2 måneder siden
  • THIS has got to be the most amazing thing you've posted from the many amazing videos you've posted. Thank you for posting! That said, I do wish you would take the trouble to redact the f word.

    John KeckJohn Keck2 måneder siden
  • Tricks aren't the way of life🤦‍♂️

    urie p.urie p.2 måneder siden
  • You should go on Joe Rogan.

    CumtronicsCumtronics2 måneder siden
  • The coolest character, is the main character, in T E N E T.

    XyabraXyabra2 måneder siden
  • can you help me with i have good punchliners but my tone isnt funny at all

    Imperial Squat RackImperial Squat Rack2 måneder siden