How You ACTUALLY Learn

4. feb.. 2019
139 411 Ganger

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How To Be More Self Aware:
Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s NOworld Account:

What I’m about to say sounds pretty ridiculous…
Stop changing people!

I don’t mean stop caring, stop having compassion and turn the other way when people ask for your help.
Quite the contrary.
It’s important to be empathetic, have compassion and help those in need.
However is it NOT your responsibility (and even within your capability) to change people.
They have to be willing to do that themselves.
PD Seminars
Reading (fiction and non-fiction)
Connecting with family of origin
Isolation events (whether a tank or a cabin in the woods)
Vigorous exercise
0:20 - Story #1
2:20 - What People Need To Change
3:10 - Story #2
5:40 - Point #1: It’s Not Your Responsibility To Change People
6:35 - Point #2: Re-Try New Activities/Resources That You Abandoned
7:50 - Point #3: You Are Going To Make Mistakes
9:16 - New Channels Announcement
#CharismaOnCommand #SocialSkills #SelfDevelopment
Language Channels:

Connect With Us Further:
Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand
Or if you want to see our personal stuff (regular life + playing music):
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

  • How is the resource not the key and the experience the door? I've found that many experiences of mine had not happened because I needed knowledge of what to do in certain situations in order to access further realizations of them.

    Matt Tucci MusicMatt Tucci Music5 måneder siden
  • When I come out of quorantine, I want y want to start climbing, muay Thai, a part from my daily gym routine. It's tricky make that work, economoically an socially. Life is pretty hard core!

    Anders HattneAnders Hattne7 måneder siden
  • You would make a great Joker, good smile, seemingly innocent, nice voice, charismatic.

    NakediukNakediuk7 måneder siden
  • Thank you.

    MementoMemento7 måneder siden
  • Your conclusions mid-way through the video are so true. Very frustrating when someone you care about doesn't want to change because you don't want them to go through the pain, but it must be accepted.

    Lorelai B.Lorelai B.11 måneder siden
  • I am binging a bit on this channel and I'm so curious how you learned all this stuff... Your delivery of the subject is so eloquent, you seem wiser beyond your years. Very impressive.

    Lorelai B.Lorelai B.11 måneder siden
  • I always take away so much from this channel.

    Aysiah ExaminesAysiah ExaminesÅr siden
  • I feel like he's talking to me in this video. I so needed this! I made a bad decision with someone I liked and even though I knew it wasn't good for me, yet I did it anyway and I was hurt so badly I cried....

    NoneNoneÅr siden
  • But when the pain is too much that you can't even think straight? What happens there?

    TereTereÅr siden
  • How can I get pain and how much does it costs.

    Hebin PunHebin PunÅr siden
  • You Made Some Good Points In This Video ... Apreciate It , I'm Also A Motivational Speaker #NewSubscriber

    Motivated By DamonMotivated By DamonÅr siden
  • One activty I thought wasn't for me for the longest time because I used to hate it was biking (with a bicycle). I bought myself a custom made bicycle with my measurements and it's the most pleasurable physical activities I had in a long time. I thought that it would make my back pain worse, but it has actually fixed it for the most part :D I'm certainly gonna try swimming again to fight the winter dread when bicycle season is over...

    Jessi TremblayJessi TremblayÅr siden
  • Thank you for this video. I just went through a a situation where I let a friend go. These is very very good info. Thanks!!

    Neozio1976/Dennis AllenNeozio1976/Dennis AllenÅr siden
  • I embraced the pain, and now my shoulder impingement evolved into bursitis

    WergrunWergrunÅr siden
  • We have to break before we can mend.

    Mk. RoweMk. RoweÅr siden
  • ...... what. then... what the hell... why...what...why... can't I just research it? So.. pain is my motivation? Getting bullied about your weight helps?? then... am I supposed to bring pain in my life?? Am I supposed to hurt myself? Am I supposed to do everything I don't want? Is this really the secret to life... what the f---. where are my anti-depressants..

    NatalieNatalieÅr siden
  • Thanks for talking about this. How we learn is something I'm endlessly curious about. I think this is a good perspective oh, and also that there is more to it. It's very hard to find good resources talking about how we learn how we develop oh, and things we can do to learn and develop better

    David CarrollDavid CarrollÅr siden
  • why is his mouth so big

    LeaviroLeaviroÅr siden
  • 70-20-10 model is one of most insightful theories on adult learning 70% of learning comes from experience, 20% other people and 10% comes from learning courses.

    angelsfan15angelsfan15År siden
  • Wow, more made up stories about terrible women. Sensing a pattern and it isn’t the women. 🙄

    Buchi ChuBuchi ChuÅr siden
    • I don't see what you're talking about in this video.

      Mk. RoweMk. RoweÅr siden
  • Charlie you're so handsome, I definitely have a crush on you

    Siria SouzaSiria SouzaÅr siden
    • Oh thanks, that's sweet of you :)

      Siria SouzaSiria SouzaÅr siden
    • Siria Souza I think I gotta say the same thing about you Ms. Souza.

      Thatperformer387Thatperformer387År siden
  • Awesome video. Couldn't agree more.

    jayz tronjayz tronÅr siden
  • Moral of the story, don't drug people

    Eli FarrowEli FarrowÅr siden
  • 💭🙈🎧📚

    x.stumx.stumÅr siden
  • Wonderful message!

    Agnes NguAgnes NguÅr siden
    • ~ Glad you're digging it!

      Charisma on CommandCharisma on CommandÅr siden
  • his story is me literally trying to change my ex..

    Sunny VuongSunny VuongÅr siden
  • Am I the only one concerned about the obese people story? I think there is a responsibility You take when talking in front of such a big group as Your subscribers are and even if I get the story and agree with it's point, the example could be very harmful by giving acquiescence to all those vicious people that will now feel even more justified and self assured about giving hell to obese people Some guys will now throw shit at them and then say 'but look, Im doing it for their health, even Charisma on Command said that works that way" It's not 100% always possible for somebody to get fit and giving that lash to whip somebody feels just wrong.

    NocriiNocriiÅr siden
  • What you're saying is very true. Thanks

    Manon RoquetteManon RoquetteÅr siden
  • You can lead a horse to water...

    Birki gtsBirki gtsÅr siden
  • My depression is part of hating myself so deeply that I want the worse for myself

    Joe ZagJoe ZagÅr siden
  • How can I speak frequently like u , how to practice

    阿董哥的斜杠生活 Evan’s Slash lifestyle阿董哥的斜杠生活 Evan’s Slash lifestyleÅr siden
  • i loved this so much

    Jewel RobinsonJewel RobinsonÅr siden
  • F- orget, what you know about the subject and your own "limitnationess" A- ctive, learn through creation S- tate, information + emotion = long term memory and "all learning is state depended" T- each, learn it to teach it to soemone else + trade your cleverness for bewilderment

    Lisa MarieLisa MarieÅr siden
  • Thank you for this man. Maybe the most meaningful video I’ve watched this year

    Justin IchikawaJustin IchikawaÅr siden
  • The way he talks seems kind of distant/unnatuaral o his true self. He'll intentionally slip in a fake smile or a fake chuckle to make him seem positive or whatnot but instead seems rehearsed. One example is at 0:27 where he just randomly yet fakely chuckles as he says the word issue.

    Jessie DongJessie DongÅr siden
  • Loved this video man, abstract is great!

    Ryan WheelerRyan WheelerÅr siden
  • This reminds me of the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Such a good read. Great videos! Thanks for the insight.

    Jana Alette van der WaltJana Alette van der WaltÅr siden
  • This is also why warning your little brother and watching him fail is really satisfying. Anyone relate?

    Kevin ParkKevin ParkÅr siden
  • 8:53 - I really needed to hear this right now. Thank you. Having gratitude for the life lesson is a difficult thing to do, especially when it hurts so much, but you're right. Being grateful for the lesson does help a great deal!

    Drinking In SpaceDrinking In SpaceÅr siden
  • Videos I didn’t know I needed to watch

    Willem SchellingsWillem SchellingsÅr siden
  • I want to help the mandarin channel ,I am a Chinese and I lived in US for some time

    Pupu PowderPupu PowderÅr siden
  • Hi, I can speak mandarin!!

    sunny sunsunny sunÅr siden
  • So true, can relate to that - myself and especially working with others.

    FantistischFantistischÅr siden
  • Thanks for this. I made a mistake recently and this helps me frame my thoughts going forward. To be grateful for the lesson and build from there. This wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t need to learn something, so thank god for that.

    Epic BassEpic BassÅr siden
  • Experience is so important!

    Alexandra ViolaAlexandra ViolaÅr siden
  • Swoozie

  • Even thought I don't like it this pain therapy worked on me quite often.

    SapienSapienÅr siden
  • Trying to tell my daughter this with training her dog. The dog trainer she is using has no education in the neuroscience of learning, but I do. I just finished that degree last year. Nothing learns by being rewarded. The reward is simply introduced to implement a deprivation. Nothing on earth learns except by being deprived of something meaningful. The dog doesn’t learn when it receives that tasty meaningful treat/reward. The “learning” occurs when it is deprived of the treat/reward. When it doesn’t exhibit the desired behavior and no reward is earned/provided. The same for humans, The old adage “You learn nothing from winning, but you learn everything from losing” is scientifically proven.

    Constant VictoryConstant VictoryÅr siden
  • Dave Chappelle is very chrismatic and a great story teller if you're looking for a suggestion try using him

    Spinx6Spinx6År siden
  • THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!! 100% useful. Speaks so much to me right now on a personal level. Been trying to help my girl through some stuff, but you are so right! I need to let her experience the "pain" for herself, my job is just to offer support and resource whenever she needs it. #givethanks #blessup

    Shams The ProducerShams The ProducerÅr siden
  • Hey Charlie I think telling them a story about the consequences of a choice (a story that moves them like when you see a movie about prison you never want to commit a crime or when you see a commercial about people getting hit by cars) will be enough of a caution that they will want to listen to things that can help them not make that mistake.

    fclp67fclp67År siden
  • “The Talent Code” - will change your life

    Sean WootenSean WootenÅr siden
  • This couldn't be more true. This channel has a great community and vibe. Props

    FireflyFireflyÅr siden
  • What about people who haven't been through pain, what would you recommend for those to obtain that key

    Successful FailureSuccessful FailureÅr siden
  • "I've drugged people to a seminar"

    sebastian calle mesasebastian calle mesaÅr siden
  • People need consequence to change

    Talaya FrançoisTalaya FrançoisÅr siden
  • Amazing video. Thank you Charlie!

    ΦιλομνημίδηςΦιλομνημίδηςÅr siden
  • Thanks for the great pointers about mistakes, pain & why they are so valuable.

    Buddy BoerkoelBuddy BoerkoelÅr siden
  • If I don't seem to be able to change for repeating the mistake for more than a year now, again and again... does that mean it's not hurting enough? Asking after crying 2 hours straight today.

    LudmorLudmorÅr siden
  • This is so true. I'm still waiting for the moment, where my procrastination gets out of hand, and I mess up big time. Still hasn't yet, and therefore I will continue procrastinating more and more...

    BalalaBalalaÅr siden
  • You're a far better person than I am. If a person gets back to me asking me what to do after telling him/her repeatedly not to cheat, I'd tell them to fuck off. If you make your bed, lie on it.

    Last EarthbenderLast EarthbenderÅr siden
  • Good information Thanks

    Jack SmithJack SmithÅr siden

    SchoolVideosGoHereSchoolVideosGoHereÅr siden
  • I go here from russian chanel and i think that it is a nice idea to learn English with you

    Борис Обыкновенный, 1штБорис Обыкновенный, 1штÅr siden
  • So i made my first compliment to the woman i fancy in the workplace. She was surprised and said 'thanks that's a great compliment.' But I've had no reaction, did she forget my compliment? Do i remind her about it next time i see her? I really want this compliment to stay on her mind!

    Tranced OneTranced OneÅr siden
  • Heyy are doing amazing work..if you could also write a book of all this knowledge of yours it would be so much helpful for many people because some people like books more and i believe that you can definitely write an amazing work..please do it if its possible for you.. Hi five from india..!!

    Dhruv SinghalDhruv SinghalÅr siden
  • Hello, Charlie. I am your subscriber of Russia ( sorry for my English) I like your channel and I wanted see analysis of charisma ragnar lothbrok TV series (Vikings) thank you in advance

    Derwer WerwerDerwer WerwerÅr siden
  • Best to cut out the middle man

    Jeff DoeJeff DoeÅr siden
  • Sorry, I'm obese and I am self-inflicting pain every day. Pain isn't always the answer especially when people use their addiction to avoid pain and can push people to suicide. Pain is the result of larger underlying problems. Pain needs hope, desperation, and inspiration to make a change. Instead of admitting you were too incompetent to convince your friend to make a change, you sooth your ego to say nothing can be done. I wouldn't take it so hard though convincing people takes a highly skilled communicator and a lot of effort. Not many people can afford to do that.

    odgnj5odgnj5År siden
  • This is so damn true it’s always when your at the edge that your willing to change

    Standing 4Standing 4År siden
  • Can you do a charisma video on Daryl from The Walking Dead? He’s my favorite!

    kstouf01kstouf01År siden
  • I just discovered your channel but Sir, you have a new subscriber. As you say, pain is a great catalyst for growth. I'm going through an awfully painful breakup and, oh boy, have I learned from this experience. So yes, definitely, embrace pain. It sucks. Big time. But I'm a much better man today thanks to this. Thanks for your video!

    Streetlight15Streetlight15År siden
  • I love your videos! I'm really trying to incorporate some of your tips into my life :))

    Karina Maria PiotrowskaKarina Maria PiotrowskaÅr siden
  • So what would the top, lets say top 20 experiences everybody should go through to be able to Actually Learn the top 20 most valuable teachings of all time?

    bmxionbmxionÅr siden
  • I hope we could have a Farsi channel too.

    Rohollah AziziRohollah AziziÅr siden
  • Hey Charlie, just wanted to say thank you for this video and all the work that you're putting into this channel. I'm going through some difficult things right now and this video really resonated with me and helped me get perspective on things. Nice work man.

    Benjamin SalinBenjamin SalinÅr siden
  • I wish to do your seminars - Guide me brother like you always do

  • Love you man _ go thru so much of what you speak of and you have helped me more than once... and keep doing so - Thankyou - My Name Is Gilbert Warda and I am from ustralia and found you bu accident (or was it?) Thank you again with much gratitude for all that you do to help others

  • This was an amazing video! I have so many painful regrets in my life that I beat myself up for and this video helped me to make peace with them. Yes, pain is a necesary ingredient for the transformation of the self #fightclub

    Leah RoseLeah RoseÅr siden
  • "I've drugged people to these seminars" 😂

    Leah RoseLeah RoseÅr siden
  • Please make a video on boldness!

    I KI KÅr siden
  • This is how I learned I had to deal with my alcoholism

    Jose GarciaJose GarciaÅr siden
  • At 2:32 you been playing Kingdom Hearts? lol kidding, good stuff

    soridosunekusoridosunekuÅr siden
  • Can you recommend the best self-development seminars that you’ve been to?:)

    Francesca TighineanFrancesca TighineanÅr siden
  • Charlie, what do you think of mbti types ? Are they accurate ? For example , I am am Enfp and i find myself to match this type.

    Ja leJa leÅr siden
  • You could not say it better, really, that you can't force people to learn or talk if there is a conflict, you have to just say your piece and walk away.

    TheToadTheToadÅr siden
  • Please, make a movie about Joe Rogan, Alex Jones & Jack Dorsey controversy! I'd love to hear your analysis of their behaviour.

    Matthew HayworthMatthew HayworthÅr siden
  • Sarah ASarah AÅr siden
  • Brought up money 9 times. What do you think he is most focused on?

    BAHB420BAHB420År siden
  • Can you also talk about how to actively look for resources that may make you a better person?

    Tanishq BhatiaTanishq BhatiaÅr siden
  • Anyone know a youtube channel, compagny or forum where I can learn to be more charming with my husband? (What I mean by that is to learn to be more funny, better dress, workout, how to use my body language and verbal language to influence the behavior of the other person) I really love what you are doing guys, I'm actually a student on Charisma University, and I'm just looking for something to complete what you teach me, with something a little bit more specific with my situation, to live the best life I can have, with the love of my life.

    Clemence ThibaudClemence ThibaudÅr siden
  • Excellent video! Always love your content!

    Nihad MohammedNihad MohammedÅr siden
  • Make a video about Dutch Van Der Linde’s charisma from Red Dead Redemption 2

    Andy OrtizAndy OrtizÅr siden
  • One of the coolest things of Charlie - she is making most of all videos at one try, not parts - that requires some skill in talking. cheers

    Serge OlabinSerge OlabinÅr siden
  • I wanted to learn how to handle high voltages, I watched this video and saw that I needed to make mistakes to actually learn... I'm dead now, but I now know not to lick power lines.

    TechnoBabbleTechnoBabbleÅr siden
  • drug or dragged? i reckon stick with dragged lol. or have you drugged people to seminars??

    RolandMcGrunerRolandMcGrunerÅr siden
  • You guys should do a video using Temple Grandin as an example for a future video, I say this because she is arguably the most successful person on the autism spectrum, and I myself having High Functioning autism gave learned quite a few things about social communication myself can tell you she'd be a great person to use as an example as she's a bit of a charismatic type herself, but would help to show other people on the spectrum that they can become pretty proficient at it if they work at it, you also do something using Betty White as an example in a future Video as well.

    babadababadaÅr siden
  • Evangelion

    Jacques Keckle-BerryJacques Keckle-BerryÅr siden
  • I couldn't relate more to this video. My younger sibling has been going through a lot of problems. Same problems I went through when I was his age. I empathized with him and knew everything he was going through but It was like talking to a brick wall almost. I linked him to a few of your videos and jordan peterson videos but to no avail.

    TehUltimateSnakeTehUltimateSnakeÅr siden
  • thank you

    Lawrence KirtiadiLawrence KirtiadiÅr siden